Ey bEbs ,

we did it!  we shook ass and rocked the stage! we were born for the lime light! we deserve center stage 24/7!Ü we the only chiks that can stand the heat, the pressure.. the assumingness!!  haha. im soo full of me and mah ghurls. buh honey, once you wit the crew of “gOodies” beb, wit no doubt… you’d wanna stay the sem. next time, we gun dance wit the othah goodies.. we gone add everythang up.. all the booty wigglers will unite and make jaws fall… oh yea baby.. i feel the heat, the rhythm.. can;t stop shakin in mah seat.. ano bah?! shit. i need mo action! i gotta et up and dance!! hahaha. sorry na ged.

Oh, my matez “said” tha, they wanted mo’ of mah lovey lovey whatever things.. you know, a the shit i wrote for ***.. bull crap. haha. so, im posting them.. to show the world how stupid you get when you THINK you like someone.

1

i’ll always be here for you. i’ll always listen to your every word. i’ll take your hand when you need someone to hold you tight.
even if i’ll get hurt, it’s all right. that’s how much i love you.

i know that i should let go of you by now. i know i should do what my heart told me to do a long time ago. forget how much i love
you because whats the use?! you won’t love me anyway… all you care about is her.. pano na yan?!

i love you. i dream of you. i long for you. but you’ll never understand even if you try because i love you without reason.
i love you when the whole wold doesn’t. i love you. i simply do.

i wish i didn’t. i wish there wasn’t such thing as love. i wish there wasn’t such thing as hurt. i wish there wasn’t such thing as
life because that way there would neither be me nor you.

i hate you! i hate you for real because i hate the way i force myself to hate you but deep down inside i know i never will.
no matter how hard i try. no matter how hard i cry.
i can never hate you the way you want me to.

2

 

I’m not afraid of loving you because loving you is one of the happiest times of my life I’ve ever been through.

 

I’m not afraid of giving my heart away to the wrong person because I know that what else can I loose? I know that I’d be giving it away to someone who would never mean to hurt me on purpose.

 

I’m not afraid of loosing you because if I do, I know that you will always be a part of me and like you promised, I would always be your boo [?!]

 

I’m not afraid to let you go because if you truly love me like the way you say you do, when you realize that I can love you more, you’d come back to me.

 

I’m not afraid of being your plaything because I owe you so much and you deserve it anyways.

 

But if there’s one thing I’m afraid of it’s you falling out of love with me because everyday I know your love for me lessens but if you knew, everyday my love for you keeps growing. I’m scared that when my love for you is finally full that’s the time when your love for me is empty. You know what I’m talking about?

 

It’s just not easy seeing you everyday and having to pinch myself to the fact that you can never be mine no matter how hard I cry, no matter how many times or how long I pray, I know your heart will always belong to her. I just don’t know if I can handle the fact that you had me wishing on something that I realized could never be mine. You made you reach for a star that I could never pull down but I’m still hoping that maybe, one day, that star would just fall.

 

I don’t know how you make me crazy; I don’t know why I’m crazy for you anyway! You haven’t even done anything special for me. You’re not even as in love with me as I am with you. You don’t even dream of me like the way I do of you. Could you do me a favor? Tonight, can you dream of me like the way I dream of you, so at least you’d know how it would feel to be in love with someone who refuses to love you in return. To be in love with someone who loves you for all the wrong reasons, all at the wrong time.

 

I used to think that my reality was better than my dreams but then; I guess I was dreaming again cuz I woke up!! I realized that sometimes I would rather fall into a deep sleep than to wish that you would love me like you love her or better yet, more because when I dream, everything comes true but when I think and wish of it, all I end up is with scars and really big eye bags!

 

I know you don’t care and when I’m gone you won’t look for me. I know that if I told you that I loved you, you wouldn’t care. Maybe this isn’t the right time to tell you about how much I really do. But how DO I really feel for you? Is it enough to say that I love you as much as I love life itself yet, all you’ll ever love me is like you love your sister? I can’t tell you that I love you like life itself because I love you than so much more, more than you’ll ever imagine! I love you and especially the butterflies that’s been carrying me away every time I see you.

 

I don’t know how I’ll end this because if I had to write about how much I love you, I think this’ll go one forever. So I guess I’ll cut to the chase, I love you and I hope when I fully love you… you’d still be there sharing that piece of love with me!

 

-issa chua- [plain and simple]

 

12:14 am

 

Created: Saturday, December 11, 2004, 12:18:17 AM

3

 

Free-writing # 5                                                    Rating:

 

 

The Perfect Fairytale

 

Every night when I was young, my mommy would always read to me. She’d read me anything random from mermaids, to clowns, animals or how things worked. She’d read to me about God and how much He loved me. Sometimes, she’s read to me about boy stuff [that’s something that I’ve learned to appreciate at a very young age]. But among all the stories she read to me, my all time favorite stories where fairytales. I loved how princes would sweep the princesses off their feet and live happily ever after. I loved the fact that those fairy tales always had the best happy endings. But the thing that I seemed to love the most is how they all always had me fancying about what my life would be like if I was a princess, in a castle, with a prince to live my “oh-so-happy” life with.

 

There were times when my mom and I would talk and wonder about what our lives would be if she were a queen of a magical kingdom and I was the princess. Back then; I had everything pictured out for me. I’d live in a big, beautiful and colorful room, which was surrounded with a million toys and in the middle of the room was a big canopy with linen sheets dropping at the sides. Everything would be made out of the finest jewels, gold and everything that a little girl would’ve wanted. It was such a drag having to snap back to reality and having to look at my room, which, did I mention, wasn’t exactly my favorite place in the house. I’m just thankful that I have my mom who would often tell me that “life is a fairytale, although it always isn’t the way you want it to at first, if you just keep on believing and doing you’re best in everything…it will, eventually. ” And guess what? She what right!

 

I’m a princess, waiting for that one special person to sweep me off my feet and show me what happiness is truly made of. But right now, I’m still sleeping beauty, waiting for that prince to break this spell. I’m snow white, surrounded not only by 7 dwarfs but a million people who’ll help me along the way. And when I find my prince, I know he’ll be exactly like the prince in Rapunzel, he’ll do everything he can to make me happy and he won’t stop trying.

 

They say, that after every shower a rainbow appears. Well, if my life were based on the weather and problems was rain… it would be flooding! And like the saying, I know that when my rainbow comes out, it’ll be the best and biggest rainbow ever… it’ll stellar!! LOL

 

And in the process, if I had to tear out a page or if I had to do redo anything in my life…I wouldn’t think twice about saying “NO!” because the best things about my story are the problems I had to go through. I fought witches, dragons, etc. and yeah, I wouldn’t change a thing.

 

Living in my fairytale isn’t just great because of my prince, my problems and such… it’s great because I get to live everyday in a new page and I’m writing a story about the best fairytale… ever!!

 

By:

 

 

 

~*~One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions~*~

 

I Am A Princess, I Live In The Clouds, If You Wanna Kick It With Me, You Better Bow Down, So Get On Your Knees, And Call Me Your Highness, Cuz Baby Believe Me I’m Cebu’s Finest!

 

~*~God Made The Land, God Made the Sea, God Needed a Princess, So He Made Me~*~

 

*~*On my birth certificate it clearly states princess*~*

4

Please don’t tell me you love me cuz I know that you love her. I don’t want you to pretend that you love me because it will only hurt me more. If you need a friend, I’ll be that person for you. I’ll be anything you want me to be, for as long as you want me to.

I love you but I can’t tell you how long it’s going to last. I love you because even though you don’t love me, you make me feel as if you do. I won’t do just anything for you… I would do everything! I’m sorry if I’m giving you a hard time by loving you but that’s what my heart wants me to do. Love you till my life is through. Don’t get mad at me for falling, but it’s hard to resist loving you. It’s hard to tell my heart to stop with all the things you do.

It’s not hard to love me. What does she have that i don’t? but I’m being stupid… how would you know? All you see is her or someone else.

………

 

s first I looked at you as a friend and nothing more but then you showed me what’s missing in my life and it made me realize that “why would I feel that way if I didn’t love you?”

 

-September or October something…- [pink notebook]

 

…………

 

I’m gonna get over you even if it’s the last thing I’ll ever do! I don’t need your sweet messages to make me smile; I’ll find someone else! I don’t need your smile to light up the dark! I’ll live perfectly in the dark, thank you very much. I don’t need to hear ‘our song [?!], I’ve lost meaning to it anyways. I don’t need to see you; I don’t need to fly away! But the thing I don’t need to be right now is a part of your collection. I’m tired of being your bases. I’m tired of being your bottie call! I’m not your plaything. I’m in-love with you but you never seem to notice! So what if I’ll feel all right when you text me? I’ll force myself not to! When you smile and everything turns bright, I’ll kind a switch. I’m tired of loving you because all I end up being is hurt. Besides, if I were gone… you wouldn’t mind. I was never really part of your life and If I was, I bet I was nothing to you.

okie.. so those are the only one’s i want to share wit the world.. have fun wit it you’ze and ingats coz those works if art are mine!:) dun go walking around tellin you people you made it cuz we all know you didn’t.. tha life ain’t right fo you!! haha. gangtah talking baybe!!Ü

im leavin!:) im tired. ima post survey’s next time. gotta lottathose lying around in mah files..

bye huns!! mwah!! :* tc.

oh yea, bi*c*zZz.. sign mah g’b0ok! pEaCe!!

fEelEr mODe:  bEbe_pHaT ™

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