bittersweet

i cannot understand why soo much drama is piling up on me. well, i guess i got i wanted. drama. you know, the kind i never get? haha. well, that’s that.

my eyes are stil sore from crying my eyes out. i feel like an idiot right now but not because i’m guilty or anything but because, i never realized what my parents taught me to.

sorry if this is soo publicized but this is where i channel all my feelings and forget how i feel and forget the world and just forget, you know?

you know, honestly, this was my decision, i asked for time and i know you’ll give that to me and i’m thankful. we had soo many time to fix things, so many days and hours to fix it. and i guess it hurts to know that when i’ve finally turned myself off, there’s still alot of you holding on to what i’ve let go and honestly, i can’t think of a reason why. and it makes me realize that, if you have reasons that i don’t maybe, this isn’t supposed to work out or end the way it should.

i know we’ve been friends for soo long. but, sometimes it feels like i don’t know.. maybe we don’t need each other as much as we used to.

i’m willing to be friends but right now, that’s all that i’m willing to be. i can’t imagine us trying to fix things again, not in this situation where i’m not quite willing to yet. i just want to start from the begining, i want to know what we’re really supposed to be. if we’re supposed to be BFF’S, then we’ll cross each others paths again. if we’re not, then, well, i will always treasure what we had and i will always look back at our pictures and hopefully rem. the good days. not the quiet meals, not the insults, not the back bites and not the fights. no, none of that.

i want to be civil. just that.

i know you want more. but you’re soo fond of getting things your way. i know this is harsh but, not right now, ok?
i can’t please you. i’ve done that for too long. i watched us put up too much for too many months and it’s time we learned that not everything can last as long as we want it to.

i’m sorry.

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