so in a few hours from right now i will officially be capped. I guess this means that we’ve completed half of my requirements in my 2 1/2 years of this godforsaken course and i think this also indicates that we can start actually touch our patients now and inject and do shit because … we’re ready? the cap has some pretty awesome powers, i guess. lol.
i’ve head about people actually crying during the ceremony or actually while being capped and i guess i understand that. I mean, it does signify a lot, nursing is a big deal, it’s definitely not a walk in the park and on that day, we actually get acknowledged for that. It’s actually nice to be able to hear my mom say constantly that she’s proud of me and that she’s thankful of my effort because never in my life have i been beaten up so much about something i don’t have the slightest concern about.
I do think that i will end up crying tomorrow. but not for the reasons that everyone else will be crying about. After tomorrow, there won’t be anymore looking back and i can’t believe that this is where i actually am right now. Never did i think that i would one day be in a crisp white uniform with a cap… as a nurse. If i was in a crisp white ANYTHING, it would have to be a nice polo shirt or a new dress. I still can’t phase out the fact that i’m doing this to myself. I guess, if i did end up crying tomorrow it’s because i didn’t wanna be there. I would rather be dead sometimes.
of course i’m happy i got this far. i’m happy my parents are happy cuz i’m not doing this for me, i’m doing it for them. but you know what they say… you can never really be completely happy,