I always get so sentimental around this time of the year because it is around this time of the year that I like to sit in front of a computer, or in this case a laptop screen, in the middle of the night and review/ reflect on the year that has passed. This hardly ever happens anymore as I have come to realize that my demons come out during this time and nothing is scarier than a woman in her mi 20’s left alone with her thoughts in the middle of the night.
But for the past 11 years, I have chosen to spend these festive times in front of a screen,doing what I have come to realize is what I seem to do best: write my heart and soul out. I started doing it when I was in the 6th grade (forgive me if my math is off) and I’ll be doing it until I am old and wrinkly.
I know that life should not be measured in years and that each day is another opportunity to start fresh and anew but it has become apparent to me that some habits die hard and this is mine. And honestly, I am proud to show the world that this is who I have become over the years, especially this year which is why I am sharing this with you.
So if you are curious to find out what Issa of 2004 [technically 2005] was like, click here. Back then I liked to use words such as “bounce” and my life’s goal was to create the longest blog entry in the world. Truthfully, I have not read this entry in a long time but feel free to do so yourself. Let me know what it’s about but if it’s too embarrassing, please refrain from talking to me. EVER.
In 2006-7 I became obsessed with the term “word vomit” also, I believe my multiply username was Issaplease which is when my online alter ago was born even if I did not realize it yet. I stopped talking like a ghetto chica (THANKFULLY!!) and I was obsessed with dating. I could tell you where this dying need to love and be loved in return came from but that is for another day. The main point is, I started talking like a normal person which all I could really care about Issa of 2006 anyways…
2007-8 was the year I realized how important blogging was to me whether or not my voice was heard or my blog was read. A practice has turned into a habit and in the years to follow, it has become a life style or an extension of who I was. I got my first boyfriend this year and although I hate talking about him, monkey face and all, I have to admit that I would not be the person I was today if it were not for him. We did not break up until some time in 2009 so 2008 should be interesting.
I think I was mad the day I made my blog for 2008-9 because I said that I could actually imagine myself becoming a nurse. I knew I had bumped my head somewhere… or someone bumped it for me. Oh, I went there. Honestly, I can’t even bring myself to read this blog entry. A lot of things on it sound stupid and that’s just not me anymore. In a nutshell, I had the wrong perception of love and I know I say that I would never change anything in my life but if I could, I would get on that time machine and slap myself instead of someone else doing it to me. Those were dark times which is why I have left them there.
In 2009- 10 I was a bit smarter. I was being honest with myself because I no longer had the fear of disappointing someone because of my honesty. This was the year that I learned to be honest with myself and with others even if it cost me a friend. Truthfully, it is still costing me friends but I.don’t.care. I also know that this year was the year I had “lost” myself or I was trying to find a new me. I kissed, danced, got drunk, kissed boys and I learned. The most important thing is I learned.
2010- 11 I met another boy and I still think that up until this day, the people we meet tend to leave a mark on our lives forever. This is also the year that my lolo got into a stroke, the year I started fashion blogging and the year that I was able to watch Paramore. It’s still funny to read all the things I had wished for a boy I no longer talk to nor think about today or the wishes I still wish for until now but I guess life is like that. It’s funny and sad at the same time, I often can’t tell which is which. Also, I said I was engaged in this post. KALUOD LANG!
2011- 12 This is the year I lost love and found it somewhere else. HONESTLY, I know I sound like such a whore right now but fuck you. Girls like me don’t stay out in the market for too long :’)) joking aside, I am #blessed. Samut. On a serious note, I fondly remember making this blog entry this year because I felt a sense of accomplishment and for the first time in a very long time, I felt at rest. Maybe because I was about to graduate or maybe because I was beginning to be a little bit more contented with what I had… You’ll have to read the blog entry to find out!
Seriously, you’d think by this year I would have learned to back up my photos… apparently NOT. In all honesty, 2012- 13 was an awesome year because it was when I was transitioning from being the person everyone wanted me to be into being the person I wanted to be for myself. I am still struggling with this for the most part but I’ve been getting by with a little help. If you’re reading this entry without reading the previous or you do not know me to begin with, I dated 2 men named Paolo consecutively. So don’t be confused. I have a type! 😉
Last year, 2013- 14 , was equally awesome for the most part. I’m pretty sure there were crappy moments in there too but it’s great that I only seem to have remembered the good parts. It honestly feels like I just started blogging a couple years ago only to realize that I am no longer in high school anymore… NOR COLLEGE and who knows where I could be in the next year years. But in the mean time, I am currently in the middle of a dark room (how I like it), with the distant sounds of snoring in the background as I sum up the year that was.
Edit: my years are all wrong. Will fix this later!!
So as I have done for the last 10 years, here’s my round about of the year 2015! 🙂 *insert theatrics!*
1. Will you be looking for a new job?
If there’s anything I’ve learned about myself, it is that I cannot keep a day job to save my life and that I like to manage my own time. So for as long as what I do allows me to do so while paying for the bills, then count me in!
2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?
4 years and I am still in love with the same man. I like where I am.
3. New house?
Truthfully thinking about it. Very, very much.
4. What will you do different in 16?
More: work, travel, laughs, exploring more options and practicing my creativity, exercise
Less: unwise spending, eating, alcoholing and smoking
5. New Years’ resolutions?
Bitaw guys, true na gyud ni. To work out and lose 10 pounds. :’))
6. What will you not be doing in 2014?
- Getting myself into trouble or rubbing shoulders with the wrong type of people.
2. Forgetting where I came from.
7. Any trips planned?
Manila, Malapascua, the States (hopefully!), Palawan and hopefully somewhere nice with Paolo. (We deserve it!)
8. Wedding plans?
9. Major thing on your calendar?
As of the moment: Being an Island Souvenirs’ Sinulog ambassador, applying for my Visa and travelling. But 2016 Issa will have to write about this instead…
10. What can’t you wait for?
Finding out if I can see my papa again, more blogging opportunities and being able to work with bigger brands, a more fruitful year for Paolo and I
11. What would you like to see happen differently?
A stronger, more resilient and confident version of myself. Not someone who’s a push over or is afraid of conflict though I don’t necessarily see that as a bad thing. Oh, I don’t know, really. Maybe I would just like to see a few people go home to where they’re from. lol.
12. What about you will you be changing?
I am currently in the process of trying to be more motivated to work and thrive in a very competitive environment. This is not a new year’s resolution, I repeat. This is NOT a new year’s resolution. It is in fact, something that I have been trying to cope with for a while.
I used to deal with being too competitive with other people without them knowing it and since I have overcome that, I feel like the opposite of that has turned out to be passiveness. I would like to find the right mix between determination without being too resentful of the things I do not have.. whatever that mix is.
13. What happened in 2015 that you didn’t think would ever happen?
Being friends, if not, closer to my biological father
Being given all the opportunities I have been given this year (contracts, ambassadorships, sponsors, features, etc.)
14. Will you be nice to the people you care about?
Even to the ones I don’t. (Same as last year). “Kill them with kindness.” or just bug the fuck out of them! 😉
15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 2014?
I cannot say.
16. Will you start or quit smoking?
Continue to quit! YEY!!! ^_^
17. Will you better your relationship with your family?
18. Will you do charity work?
If given the opportunity, yes.
19. Will you go to bars?
Only when necessary.
20. Will you be nice to people you don’t know?
Yes, but I shall practice the RBF more frequently.
21. Do you expect 2015 to be a good year for you?
I am always hoping for the best.
22. How much did you change from this time ‘til now?
When I look back at my previous answers that have led up to this day, I come to realize that there are many things that have changed and have remained the same. In a way, I have changed for the good and the bad and I can’t deny, there are some aspects of old Issa that I wish I still was up to today. I guess ignorance is bliss and I have aged well.
1 example of a weird change is that I can no longer stay up until 3 in the morning. I usually pass out by 1 or 2. Also, this is the first time I am finishing parts of this blog entry in the morning with a cup of coffee. OLD.
23. Do you plan have on having a child?
Maybe not this year.
24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with?
I’ve pretty much weeded out 2015’s friends list and I think I am going into 2016 with a great roster of friends so, yes.
25. Major lifestyle changes?
I honestly hope so.
26. Will you be moving?
Thinking about it… can’t decide where to though.
27. What will you make sure doesn’t happen in 2015?
Unplanned pregnancies, bankruptcy, robbery, separation and obesity or famine (same as last year)
28. What are your New Year’s Eve plans?
Since Catherine is in the States, we’re all going to Tita Tina’s house to greet the new year. I plan to be this years’ source of entertainment.
29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?
30. One wish for 2015?
For life to happen as beautifully as it was intended to
Here are my 2015 highlights:
Being an in house stylist for Island Sounvenirs’ Cut and Style booth for Sinulog
Shooting with Jing and Jade, my favorites foreves <3
Working with Coca Cola and getting a cool tumbler
Selling the most items at the Threadcycle event
Switching to Vape and gaining 10 lbs 😐
That shopping spree I got from Planet Exchange
Shooting with Stephen Suico
Shooting with Dan Ong
Shopping with Iya Villania for Watsons
Being featured by Zee Lifestyle for She Says
Travelling to Hong Kong with Mama Bear
Making the cover of Sun Star Weekend
Becoming one of the ambassadors for Beauty and Beyond
Shooting with Burtz Roiland of Blinkbox photos for GiordanoxMovepick
Being on the Da Vinci’s Pizza commercial
TURNING 25! And my surprise birthday party <3
Shooting with Benj Montgomery for SammyDress.com
Dressing up as Ellie from the Last of Us with Paolo for Halloween and getting my make up done with Liana Uy
Hosting Cebu’s first Toy and Figures Convention
“Re-launching” my Youtube channel and being signed under ABS CBN’s Chicken, Pork, Adobo network
THANK YOU SO MUCH to the people, the friends and the brands that I was able to work with this year! There are so many people that made this 2015 colorful, fun and exciting and I cannot wait to work with all of you again in 2016.
I know I may oftentimes be hard to work with or to even just be around but thank you for the support and patience anyways. I have gained and lost friends this year but I think that is all a part of growing up and becoming the person we are truly meant to be.
If you have been reading my blog for a very long time now, thank you for the undying support and if you are new to this site, then WELCOME and I hope I make your 2016 a little better!
This blog entry took me 3 days to write which is pretty amazing since it usually only takes me a few minutes- hours to write a full entry. It must have come from the bottom of my heart. lol.
See you all in 2016 and I love you all! <3