the scare factor
last summer, me and gerlie were chatting and i randomly started our random conversation just like any other random conversation i had that day/night/something. you know, with an “what’s up?” [or something. you get the idea. you’re not retarded. or at least i hope you’re not. lol] and then she told me she was looking at this website where people expose their secrets but in a really interesting way, though. they make pictures about their secrets and then they submit it to the administrator and then that person posts them, i guess. it was a really interesting site. [ i just forgot the website. i have to ask her again. soon. i’ll really try to remember.]
but yeah. anyways, there were tons of secrets about prandom people that were really interesting, the pictures especially. but among those pictures, there was one that was pretty boring for me but it caught my attention not because of the picture but because it had something written on it that just felt so real and so piercing that i knew that i had to keep save it. because i could relate. [aha! that was straight to the point. i didn’t have to add pretty words to it either. go issa!]
but the truth is, the more i kept making people believe that, the more hungry i became. the more i craved for it and the more hurt i became because that thing i wanted, that little piece of sweetness in my life just wasn’t coming for me. and if it was, it wasn’t going in the right direction.
and the thing is, the more you say you don’t want something like that, the reality is, that in the inside, you’ve never wanted anything more. and that’s just it. and i guess you guys know what i mean.
but then, i guess i got lucky because someone did prove me wrong. [and i won’t say who. as if it wasn’t obvious enough. pffft.] i guess there was one person who felt exactly the same way i did and felt like he was that person who was going to make me believe it even if maybe he didn’t at first. i guess there was this person who knew exactly what i wanted and knew that he was supposed to give it to me no matter how crazy it would seem for us or for everyone else. [not like i care but yeah. lol]
and i’ve learned that when you’re busted – dude, you’re busted and there’s just no getting out of it. and i got busted. but look at me now, i’ve never been happier [despite all the **** [ii can’t help it] i’ve been through already]
i guess i learned that when you’re there and you know it’s your time to be wrong and it’s your time to be proven wrong, the best thing to do is to just give in and pray to god that it’ll be worth it in the end. and it usually is.
and it actually feels good to be proven wrong for once. just for once, though. i like being right most of the time ;]
i’ve always believed that we have to screw up and get hurt and probably even bleed so badly before we finally get to be with that one person we’re meant to be with for the rest of our lives. i’ve always believed that we had to go through all these just to we woud really know how lucky we are and how blessed we are so that we would know how much we were willing to fight for that person because we couldn’t stand not being with them. and quite frankly,
i aways believed in love. i was just waiting for someone to prove me wrong and now that i have, i wouldn’t give it up for world.i’m not saying i’m completely right. i’m not saying that i’m wrong either.
i’m saying that i got lucky. and everyone else is bound to get their share of luck too. even if you keep telling the world you won’t.
g’night.
issa. x]
I don’t know what to believe about the whole love thing, it’s a lovely idea to think that there’s someone out there perfect for you but with each passing guy I find it harder and harder to accept. Honestly I don’t know what to think anymore.
You’re school sounds like it sucks. lol
-amanda
I don’t know what to believe about the whole love thing, it’s a lovely idea to think that there’s someone out there perfect for you but with each passing guy I find it harder and harder to accept. Honestly I don’t know what to think anymore.
You’re school sounds like it sucks. lol
-amanda