what did i do right

yesterday was so crazy. on so many different levels.

we went to pandanon yesterday, which is AMAZING, btw. and as usual, i got wasted. it was so crazy cuz i was the only person who got soo completely wasted. but if you think about it, i was actually the only person who drank that much anyways. :p

so word is i puked and passed out and puked in between being passed out and vince and ibang and nina were helping me get better. well, ibang helped but i think vince did the most help. he made me swim but then he let go of me and somehow, me and dale ended up having a swimming contest and i WON 😀 but then after that i ended up hitting my foot on a rock and it hurt really bad so someone had to massage it. i don’t remember who it was, though. maybe it was rico. who knows. now i have a swollen toe 🙁

and after i sobered up, me and ian, mercy’s ex boyfriend, talked and i started crying. but not crying like the way i cried over james during sinulog. just like small drops of tears and a lot of frustration. i know my problems are nothing compared to what other people have but you know, still, it bothers me. i hate the fact that kevin has feelings for me because i don’t. and it bothers me so much because i know i will never have feelings for him. and i don’t want to be in this situation where i’m friends with someone who doesn’t just see me as a friend. he told me that if i don’t have feelings for him, things’ll go back to the way they were. but we both know they won’t ever go back to the way they were. and it frustrates me more because we’ve been friends for the longest time and i know for a fact that after i talk to him, i’m probably not going to talk to him for a while.

i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m going to shut everyone completely out of my life. no more guy friends, just me and my girl friends. or maybe just me.

i’ll tell you how my life turn out. soon.

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