what do i do with boys like you?

with you, it’s a lot like dancing. you take one step forward and one step back. One more step forward and you suddenly leave me in the middle of the dance floor. And just when i’ve decided not to dance this dance, you show up again and very easily sweep me into your tango -issa

i honestly feel bad. i feel bad because i didn’t stay long enough to hear it from jeed’s side of the story. i feel like i was in a hurry to replace him [but it was unintentional] and i feel like i’m letting him get close enough to hurt me and i do NOT want that to happen. I haven’t heard from him in more than a week but he calls me up tonight saying he wants to meet up and i’m immediately in a cab on my way to meet him. and it didn’t matter what he did- i just felt like i wanted to be with him. ehh, i sound so in love with him which i’m not. i just don’t understand why i’m like this. i think it’s cuz i needed an explanation from him badly. and now i have it and i am NOT happy. because of me.:(

so i saw his phone. it was really with his friend. he’s using it now cuz he broke his original phone. turns out, it wasn’t pawned and his friends were bullshitting. last saturday, he wasn’t with carlyle [the guy who supposedly pushed him to use] and he was home. with his brother and he’s been home since cuz he’s been trying to save up for a new phone. he kept telling me that he’s been staying away from our common friends cuz they’re the one who push him into using and he really doesn’t want to. but you know if he wanted to text me, he would’ve found ways right? UGH UGH STUPID INCONSISTENT BOY!

and then jericho, i love talking to him, i love texting him. he is soo different. he’s consistent, he’s there. he feels like something different. but i think about jeed and i feel like he needs me more. i feel like i’m rushing into something else but i’m not. jericho just happened and i’m just trying to see what can actually happen. i know i’m not playing thee two boys cuz… jericho proli doesn’t like me like that [not that i do either] and jeed, well, his side has been established once or twice but why do i feel wrong about this?

jeed man gud!! sos, so inconsistent. and i don’t like waiting around for boys because it makes me feel used.

i hate my life. i feel like a whore

46 Replies to “what do i do with boys like you?”

  1. I guess you just haave to make a solid decision about what you have to do instead of sitting on the gate. Either say no to Jeed and chat and stuff with Jericho, or yes to Jeed and stop chatting so much with Jericho. Or…neither? You’re not a whore though don’t call yourself that :/ you’re lovely! And whores aren’t lovely =P.*hugs* hope you can solve this Issa.

  2. I guess you just haave to make a solid decision about what you have to do instead of sitting on the gate. Either say no to Jeed and chat and stuff with Jericho, or yes to Jeed and stop chatting so much with Jericho. Or…neither? You’re not a whore though don’t call yourself that :/ you’re lovely! And whores aren’t lovely =P.*hugs* hope you can solve this Issa.

  3. @soulcatcherquotes – i so agree. :/@whoosh90 – i’ve made my decision and i’m sticking to it. I’m going for jericho because it’s the most sensible decision to make. it should be a no brainer considering what kind of person jeed is. i know where he was last night, he was with friends. if he wanted to catch up he would’ve borrowed a phone or dropped by the house he knows where i live and he knows he’s welcomed.i hate boys!

  4. @soulcatcherquotes – i so agree. :/@whoosh90 – i’ve made my decision and i’m sticking to it. I’m going for jericho because it’s the most sensible decision to make. it should be a no brainer considering what kind of person jeed is. i know where he was last night, he was with friends. if he wanted to catch up he would’ve borrowed a phone or dropped by the house he knows where i live and he knows he’s welcomed.i hate boys!

  5. @Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA – Waaaa “going for jericho” sounds so serious! >_>;; you hardly know him don’t you ^^;;. I’d just say..like…don’t go for Jeed and see how it goes with jericho? :3. But yeah you’re right :/ he could’ve borrowed a phone if he really wanted to find you. You shouldn’t date someone cos you feel they need you more anyways that’s like pitying them (._.);;.

  6. @Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA – Waaaa “going for jericho” sounds so serious! >_>;; you hardly know him don’t you ^^;;. I’d just say..like…don’t go for Jeed and see how it goes with jericho? :3. But yeah you’re right :/ he could’ve borrowed a phone if he really wanted to find you. You shouldn’t date someone cos you feel they need you more anyways that’s like pitying them (._.);;.

  7. @Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA – *nods* I agree. Sometimes I feel very lonely though hahaha I’m so lame right? XP. It’d just be nice to have someone to love and to be loved by someone ^^;. Then again I wouldn’t want just anyone anyways, then it’d just end in sadness! T_T;;.

  8. @Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA – *nods* I agree. Sometimes I feel very lonely though hahaha I’m so lame right? XP. It’d just be nice to have someone to love and to be loved by someone ^^;. Then again I wouldn’t want just anyone anyways, then it’d just end in sadness! T_T;;.

  9. @Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA – Hahahaha XD wow harsh much! X3. I never wanted to kick my ex out of mylife really, it was due to our differences rather than I just gotpissed off with her being around all the time hahaha XP. At least you’re honest though! I know some girls who always get a boyfriend, get bored throw them away, then feel lonely and find another one, do the same…and I’m like o_o;; wow :/.

  10. @Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA – Hahahaha XD wow harsh much! X3. I never wanted to kick my ex out of mylife really, it was due to our differences rather than I just gotpissed off with her being around all the time hahaha XP. At least you’re honest though! I know some girls who always get a boyfriend, get bored throw them away, then feel lonely and find another one, do the same…and I’m like o_o;; wow :/.

  11. @Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA – Nah me too. I find it weird when people have relationships and expect them to last like “a while”! I mean, this may sound like over-committing but I plan to marry the girl I date ^^;;…I mean why date her if she’s not right for me? Then again I guess sometimes during dating you get to know the other person more and you can’t stand them…dilemma!

  12. @whoosh90 – i used to think like that! i mean, actually, i still do! but one of my guy best friends told me that he gets into relationships so that he can learn about himself and eventually what he likes in a girl. like he doesn’t expect them to get married gyud daw or something. I don’t know, it goes on your list for life so i don’t wanna have to look back at the list of people i’ve been with and say, that was stupid.

  13. @whoosh90 – i used to think like that! i mean, actually, i still do! but one of my guy best friends told me that he gets into relationships so that he can learn about himself and eventually what he likes in a girl. like he doesn’t expect them to get married gyud daw or something. I don’t know, it goes on your list for life so i don’t wanna have to look back at the list of people i’ve been with and say, that was stupid.

  14. @Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA – I totally agree with you!! I think it’s stupid getting into a relationship to learn about yourself, I mean, relationships are serious!! At least, mine are!! Learn about yourself in normal life where you’re not putting your own and someone’s heart on the line T_T;;! Yep, me neither. I want to look back and be like, I made one mistake and learnt from it, then I was with the one meant for me :D!!! I guess it’s stupid thinking that whoever you date you’ll marry, but just the same it’s stupid assuming that you won’t.Glad we’re agreed on this :D!

  15. @whoosh90 – haha so glad we are! 😛 and yeah, i’m really sensitive and picky when it comes to relationships. i think that’s why some people get me wrong because i’ll go out with someone but if i feel like it’s not going anywhere, i wouldn’t think twice about ending it. even if it does mean that i’ll be alone or something. some people are just like, you’re lucky enough that someone even noticed you. i don’t really care for things like that. i’m not desperate.

  16. @whoosh90 – haha so glad we are! 😛 and yeah, i’m really sensitive and picky when it comes to relationships. i think that’s why some people get me wrong because i’ll go out with someone but if i feel like it’s not going anywhere, i wouldn’t think twice about ending it. even if it does mean that i’ll be alone or something. some people are just like, you’re lucky enough that someone even noticed you. i don’t really care for things like that. i’m not desperate.

  17. @Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA – “some people are just like, you’re lucky enough that someone even noticed you.” Serious who said that?! You’re such a lovely and pretty girl I’m sure like tonnes of guys notice you XP!! I’m glad you’re sensitive and picky though 😀 that means you’ll pick the right one ^_^!! Sometimes I am stupid and I’ll just find RANDOM people really really attractive and get infatuated with them, but it’s only because I hardly know them and romanticise them in my head -_-;;. I’m such an idiot sometimes!

  18. @Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA – “some people are just like, you’re lucky enough that someone even noticed you.” Serious who said that?! You’re such a lovely and pretty girl I’m sure like tonnes of guys notice you XP!! I’m glad you’re sensitive and picky though 😀 that means you’ll pick the right one ^_^!! Sometimes I am stupid and I’ll just find RANDOM people really really attractive and get infatuated with them, but it’s only because I hardly know them and romanticise them in my head -_-;;. I’m such an idiot sometimes!

  19. @whoosh90 – ehh you’re not an idiot oie. everyone’s like that i guess. i guess i am too but once i get to know them and i find out that they’re this and that, i still pull away :Pand i am NOT pretty here. pretty here is foreign looking. stupid mentality.

  20. @Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA – Ahahaha me too XP. But usually it’s like I’ll crush on someone and they’ll be PERFECT, then after a while I see them more clearly and they kinda suck ^^;;.Hmm that is a really stupid mentality. People are like that though I guess. I think you’re really really pretty though :). I’m not a fan of girls who try to look like something they’re not :/.

  21. @Aa_bEbE_pHaT_aA – Ahahaha me too XP. But usually it’s like I’ll crush on someone and they’ll be PERFECT, then after a while I see them more clearly and they kinda suck ^^;;.Hmm that is a really stupid mentality. People are like that though I guess. I think you’re really really pretty though :). I’m not a fan of girls who try to look like something they’re not :/.

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