“i don’t know if i should hurt because i like you or because they won’t let me.”

sometimes, life can be so cruel. one minute, you have the world all to yourself. and then the next thing you know, rain pours down on your parade. [wait. i’ve always loved rain. so what’s the deal?] i don’t understand how people can tell me what to do all the time and everytime, i listen. Yet when my heart says something utterly obvious.. i turn away pretending to be deaf.

i keep hiding these emotions in pretending that their going to fade away. and i won’t lie to you… sometimes, i want them to stay. but if they do… i’ll end  up hurting a lot of people. i just wish they’d understand. i wish that everything was clear so that i don’t have to think that much. so that i didn’t have to analyze anything anymore. my life would be soo much easier. i don’t have time to think anymore.

i need someone.. wait! no i don’t. i need something to distract me. i need something to help me forget everything that i have to feel. that i have to suffer. i need your hands. i need your touch.

i just need someone who’s there… who’ll listen. who’ll understand. you won’t try to hurt me with their words. their comments. i need someone who’ll just be there to enjoy my happiness.

that someone hasn’t found me yet… so i’m still waiting.

***** ******** ********!

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