15. 15. 15.

>> KIDDIE<<

haha. i love birthdays. there are only two times when you can get away with murder, when you’re on your death bed andon your birthday. 🙂 rhank God i didn’t have to kill anybody. ;p

heheh. latah. im tired

whoever said that parties were better than shopping.. was partially true but still… i can’t avoid it anymore.

yes! happy birthday to me. well, happy 4 days after my birthday, that is. weeeh. it was awesome. but to be honest, we didn’t really do anything but, it’s the things that i got that made it totally righteous! [lol. i’ve been having the urge to say that word gyud] lmao.

anyways, ima fill you in on my birthday. shit. im finally 15. and im loving it. it ain’t that bad to be honest.

>> it was soo cute. it felt like christmas. i got to go shopping for two days straight! lmao. isn’t the awesome? on the first day,papa gave me 1000 to buy an outfit. was he serious? lmao. at least mother was there. i bought a top at fashion avenue. pricey piece of beauty. ;p i hung out with yumi, kristian, rodeena [her sisters], king and their parentals for a while. well, just until mother called me for coffee at starbucks.. it’s officially my drug.

then, we [me, mother, tita xtin] walked around and looked for my ipod. grrr.. nano lagi unta. the thing is soo tiny and like, it’s soo impossible. ;p but, gipang pull out lagi so, patuo nalang. anyways, we found one and of all the places BLIMS pa gyud. well, saon. they were looking for an ipod na o% within 6 months. well, hard knock life. gotta deal. at least i have an ipod. right?!

after that, me and mommy went to metro to buy myself a skirt which i never bought and capris. well, i found the capris and they’re cuuute.

so, after metro… i thought we were ready to go home BUT WAIT! my mom asked me if there was anything else i wanted then… LIGHT BULB! ISIS!! I bought myself aviator shades which i absolutely adore and a puma jacket that i cherish! i wouldn’t take it off.

it is to die for. drooooool.

>> when i got home, mother and fathe had to go somewhere [bussiness] so i played badminton wit this dude from across the street. i whooped his ass.. as usual. lmao.

i swear to g0d! it felt ike christmas. hehe. aye, basta, lahi gyud.

me and chub had on and off talks but you know how i don’t like talking on the phone anymore so we didn’t really chat long.

12 o clock. h o t n e z z. spell it wit me. h o t

omigosh. i was soo stupid. my phone started beeping and i was like, “12 na diay?!” lmao. bogo gyud. sembreak bitaw, chancE! 🙂 then, like papa called me and asked me to go upstairs to get something.. then, KNOCK KNOCK.

omigosh. it was soo cute. total kodak moment.

all the lights were off and there was a tiny chocolate cake on the cabinet thinggy and all of em wee singin happy birthday. they made me make a wish, blow out the candles, eat the cake or rather, watch casey eat it and do whatever i want. as long as i did it at home. if you know what i mean.. ;p lmao. just messing.

so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ISSA!

>> end <<

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEEE! 🙂

i absoulety love shopping. well, today was the last day of school befpre sem break and it was torture. UN day and everything “SAWUBONA. JUN MAH PEL ISSA. KUH MAH LAY VOO!” I hate playing africa but at least i looked fuky in this top that ended being a dress cuz.. i’m short. lmao. if you MUST knw. ;p but after that, i was over it and i hung out at the fourth year classroom and i bugged thehell outta Kristian. i sweartogod that pimp is pissed at me. lmao.

it was soo cool on the bus ride home, smokerz. puff. puff. puff.

– kills you slowly, kills you in your sleep. you know you wanna stop but you’re just too deep –

got down atjo’s chicken inato and ate a halo halo. but as usual, i didn’t finish it, lmao.

father gave me mollah to buy an outfit for tomorrow. hotnez. 🙂

i love shopping

buying shoes tomorrow and uhm, a hot skirt and shit. GETTING MY IPOD!!! shit babybeh,

well, it’s 1:20 and not a lot of people have greeted me. btut, it’s all good. abig kay wai party, ana na diay?! atay.

just playing.

bounce bitchez

im fifteeen now, and i can get away wit a lot of thingz na

fuck yourself , ” i can’t wait.” i can tell, you look like a whore anyways,

i know you’re getting tired of me.

– it’s a shame you don’t know the same things i know. that you feel the way i do for someone else or that hunneh we’re going down swingin.

today was fun. i love the fact that i can finally wet my hair! for a second i thought that i was loosing the curls. [dung dung] anyways, so.. here’s how my day went:

i spent like, an hour online chatting and looking for the african costume that ima wear for our fucking UN day where i have to be the princess of Africa for. isn’t that like a total insult to my tan?! haha. wakey wakey hunneh, you have no tan. that’s under exposeir to the freaking sun!! [in denial pa kaau ko!] so like, yeah. mao to. then, i got tiz message from paolo [guy i met at jet’s party] memoriiez. and he was asking me if i could go to yala at 12. but seriously, who goes to ayala at 12? i personally didn’t wanna go but, he kinda insisted that i go so.. i did. PAO, IF YOU READ TIZ. SORRY NALANG. LMAO. haha. so when i got there, i chilled at lil comforts for a bit [my ego] then, i went to dockerz to meet him. we walked around and then jet came. evil kaayoo. grrrr… brotherhood!

so, finally na abot sila chub and bayot [my two bitchez] and like, ugh.. if la ang guys.. i swear i would’ve jumped on them. god, i miss them like hell! not only the two of them though.

**sometimes i feel like i never left. sometimes i feel like i never left home. sometimes i feel like i’m always wanted. but i will always, always be alone**

so, we went to mcdonalds to eat lunch [ult. pig out place] i ordered the usual cheese burger meal. i would’ve pigged out more but, mother didn’t give me money. i was even hoping to buy a new shirt cuz like, i haven’t bought myself anything gorgeous in like, months! that’s saaad. unya, naabot si madera, alexa and em. we ate more and then we caught up with josh. he sat wit us and walked around wit us too.

it was soo wacky cuz like, we stayed outside penshoppe right? then kaning mga pisting buang, took out their camera’s and posed beside the cut-out piciez of penshoppe’z hotties models. and it just so happened that one of the piciez was a guy with his mouth wide open!! HAHAHA. GO NIN!! whattah posing. then i took a pic. uhm, showing off my shortnez. HEY!! I CAN’T HELP IT! lmao.

then, we all decided to watch a movie ONE MISSED CALL TWO! stupid kayg name sah?! hahaha. i swear to G i had the loudest, biggest shout ciguro. fucking movie scared the shit outta me!! 😛 although; the ending was kinda weird.. like, hello please connect kaau.

basta, di nako maligo, mu skwela, sakay awto, urgh. won’t think bout it nah

and then, i went to some stores and checked out the ipod nano’z… i want mine nah gyud!!

i made a list of the things i wanna change about myself..

my gradez [higher. obviously] my optimistic, make tennis my ult. sport, start saving, loose bilbil, eat healthy, be more.. kikay/ punk/ i dunno bout the image. i mean, simplicity is the best way to go right but, seriously. be nice. more religious. be more responsible, smart, hard working. will start making my own decisions and strive to make myself happy, then otherz.

call it selfless but, that’s me.

anyways, i goota bounce casey needs me. bye

6 days to go! am i excited? uhm, letmme see.. no party, nothing to lok forward to, no special someone.. hmm.. yeah! 🙂 it would be nicee to have a bew environment for my birthday just for once! besides, i think my mom’s planning something extra special. the drag part though is that alexa is celebrating her birthday on my birthday. so i bet everyone’s gonna be spending their time at lay’s beach house. jealous and disappointed. but oh well, you win some you loose some.

anyways, the drainage thinggy was took off yesterday. great news!! i can finally wet my hair now!! weeh.

yes people. happiness comes in a short supply nowadays. ok, im shallow. swallow it! 😛

goota bounce. im hangin at the mall today.

7 days

they’re taking off the stitez today. woohoo. i wanna hang at the mall tomorrow. someone asked me out. i don’t know if thiz a new thing; don’t wanna think about it. spent half the night talking to him telling him shit.. everything he didn’t want to hear. im the bomb!

he scratched my heart; so i popped his ball.

i have nothing to say. lie after lie after lie. you knew this was gonna happen to us so you planned ahead. i know you said it hurt physically but what about me? did you ever stop to think about that? sometimes you can be so selfish and all you ever end up saying is that you’re sorry and that you love me. hunneh, sometimes love just ain’t enough.

do something.

im soo back into the whole mirc chatting thing. iz driving me nutz!!
i’ve missed 4 days of school so far. isn’t that like; awesome?!

and you,i don’t know what else to say but, honestly… i can’t tell you all the things you want to hear because, i’m tired of lying.

maybe i am hurt. maybe i won’t be ok as soon i as want to. maybe i did like him enough to love him. maybe he meant a lot to me. maybe at first i really wanted you to consider giving him a chance. at church i was taught to give other people another chance. but maybe, you just aren’t like that. maybe it’s a mistake. maybe there are times when i wish you weren’t like that. maybe …

but if this is the only way to make you believe that i care, that you mean something… if there really isn’t any other way.. then, i guess, i just won’t tell you how it feels. and don’t ask.

you keep saying that you only want whats best for me but i an’t help but grind my teeth and ask myself while pulling my hair, who are you to make such judgements that he couldn’t? lagi, i’m too young. honestly, i have my parents to remind me about those kinda shit. blahblah. if you told me to jump off a cliff.. i wouldn’t.. so how is this any different?

tell me, what was wrong with him? UGH! shit!

Fight for love. Give – up for friendship.

you always thought i was pathetic when it came to love but when i look backk i can’t because it was pure. i knew what i had and i kept it plain and simple.

and now, not meanning to hurt anybody all i can say is, i was pathetic listenning to someone who couldn’t listen to me.

can we both stop lying. pretending to be someone we aren’t. we’re not that great. we’re not perfect and most of all, we’re not worth believing anymore.

i want this to be the last! i’m lving my life. i wanna be happy

don’t stop me from doing this and i know you’ll get hurt with what i have to say but, you’re not the — only who feels this way.

honestly, i let you go because i know — i hope — i wish — i pray that things would fall into place. but if you could stay — if i could keep you, i swear to God, i would. if everyone respected us like they should’ve, i wouldn’t let go. but, i guess,  things aren’t supposed to end up the way we dreamed it would – how we prayed it would.

i won’t deny it, this time i want the world to know.. you meant something to me. and i don’t care who see’s it or who reads this. ** you won already, let me do my bussiness.. let me tell the world i care for him that i can’t see him like this ** turn around.

i can’t tell you all the things i want to tell you because, i know you won’t undestand, if not… i know that you would think i’m someone else — someone completely twisted. but, honestly, maybe i am. i never wanted it to be hard for us. i never wanted to pretend that i wasn’t happy when you were around.i admit, there were times when i didn’t want to see you but.. i have my reasons and only god knows and should know them.

hahaiz. i don’t know what to say in order for you to understand that, hurting you is just something i have to do. it’s not something that i dreamt of doing.. of course not. i can’t do this anymore.

– and when all the pieces fall into place, when everything is all right.. i’ll find you. i don’t know how and where but i will. and when i find you, i won’t say anything… i’ll just stand there, look into your eyes and say, ” i might have fallen for the *wrongest* one. but, you’ll make everything in my life all right again.”

i know you’ll judge me; i know you’ll discriminate and i won’t stop you. but all i ever wanted was for you to cut the bullshit. this is the last time i’m listenning to anyone.