i’ve been spending the whole afternoon on the computer and i swear to god, if i don’t get out of this house i will kill someone. or i will kill myself.
i guess all this free time is just making me realize a lot of things like how i bore easily and how i’m bored with (i won’t say who) and i’ll proli just wait for everything to die out if nothing interesting comes from this whateveryouwanttocallit.
i, jean louise perez, do solemnly swear to no longer date. unless … NOTHING!
Just to put your mind at ease, you don’t owe me anything.
You paid me well in memories.
And I sit here staring at your name, wondering if I should talk to you or not. Part of me wants to hold on to what used to be, but the rest of me knows that I really shouldn’t.
And i beleive in chasing memories and holding on to what you think is true. And I believe in climbing rainbows to see what’s on the other side.
it’s been days since i’ve seen you hours since i’ve talked to you minutes since i last heard your name but yet it has been onlya matter of seconds since i’ve thought of you.
today i realized that i want to be with someone who i can go all out with. someone who i can laugh my head off and run around and be downright ridiculous with. Not somebody who’ll tie me down and tell me to sit quietly and listen. that’s not the type of girl i am. *i act like a kid but i don’t think like one
*i am crazy, *silly and *outrageous and i want you to take me this way. * I DO NOT LIKE FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS. *i am hard headed and *spoiled. *I am thrift [chink, hellloooo], *i would like to go to parks and feed ducks there, *i like surprises and *being hugged. *i liked being babied and *i’m not the sweetest,*prettiest girl among the flock but * i’ll make it worth your while. *i like it when people take chances on me because *i like taking chances on people and *falling in love and *sometimes, i like flings but hardly ever. *i would some day like to go to a cemetery and * have a candlelight dinner there. * if you sang for me, i’d be happy, * if you dressed up as a girl and * let me put make up on you- i’d love you forever. and * if you kept my secrets then i’d love you even more.
* i’m a sinner. I sin a lot. * i’m a liar, i lie and tell myself i don’t have feelings for you when in fact, i do. * i am a bad speller but i know how to spell your name in 7 letters – amazing. :]
well you don’t call me baby anymore and you haven’t said you missed me in a while either. You don’t send me kisses and you never call. things’ve changed and i’m not quite sure why. i would like to say that i don’t care because usually i don’t but i’m finding that hard to do because a little piece of me really does and a bigger part wants to know why. if you have somewhere else to be, then leave and i won’t ask why, i won’t even stop you cause if i’m not going to be with you, i might as well be with someone else. and that’s just how it is and that’s how it will always be.
it’s not something i brag about but today 2 guys asked for my number. if i had to choose them over you, i’d choose you in a heartbeat. THIS is how deluded i am now.
someone save me. i need to be saved, i’m not as strong as i thought.
i wish you’d see things the way i see it.
i never got to tell you that i went to james’ place last night. yeah, i was at his sisters’ baby’s dedication cuz i’m a god mother. aren’t i awesome? i’m a ninang. 😀
i want a baby soo bad :/
anyways, so i was there and it was awkward in ways because i was suddenly demoted from “girl friend” to his “cousins classmate from MMIS”.
do i think it’s weird that he doesn’t talk to me? yes. do i think it’s unfair that he can’t even look me in the eye? double yes. but what’s actually more annoying for me is the fact that we can’t/ aren’t friends. because i remember how we use to treat each other before we got together and how we were such good friends and i miss it. i don’t miss him being my boyfriend, i just miss being friends with him. and i don’t understand why were not or why he avoids me or why he acts like i’m some kind of disease that he needs to stay away from. it’s not like i’m ever going to ask for him back like i did before. i just wish he was more mature than this.
i think i’ll try talking to him about this soon but then maybe it’ll just be a waste of time- and knowing him, it will be.
on other matters, i want somebody 🙁 period. i wanna be in a relationship again. i wanna belong somebody and i want it to work. i don’t want it to be as complicated as it was the last time and i just wanna be in that moment again. you know where time stands still and you could just spend the rest of your life in that moment and be content no matter how tiny/ lame that moment is? i miss that. or you know that feeling where you would do ANYTHING just to see that person even if it were for a spit second? and a glance would be more than enough.
i always want what i shouldn’t have. i always want what’ll hurt me. i always want and never give or get. i want you to want me.
speaking of things i want: i want to play LEFT4DEAD
josh and kim promised we’d play. RJ doesn’t want any part of this so screw screw screw. i’ll be the girl 😀
oh mann oh mann oh mann.
yesterday i went to kim inting’s party. i told my mom i was going to chab’s sister’s despidida after the baby dedication cuz we really were supposed to… until we found out na lunch diay ang party instead of dinner. :/ and i guess i got in trouble cuz i told my mom that i was going home at 12 and at 12 i told her i was going home at 2 so.. hehe. 😀 but i’m not in uber trouble so whatever. i’m ok.
we have a new carrr 😀 😀 😀 😀 but i really want this one…
Alfa Romeo Milano
Highlights: Set to debut at the Frankfurt Auto Show in September, the Milano is expected to boast a 120-horsepower 4-cylinder or 265-hp V6 engine. It sold briefly in North America (and was called the 75 elsewhere) in the late 1980s and early 1990s but disappeared when Alfa left the continent.
Why we care: Experts are speculating that the five-door Milano will form the basis for a new Chrysler sedan. It’ll go on sale in Europe first, then likely come to the U.S. a few years later.
i like it cuz it looks sexy 😀 hehe
so anyways about last night.. i got so wasted. at first we were doing body shots on each other [just us girls though] then i stopped to play poker and suddenly LOST MY MIND WHILE PLAYING POKER. and the madness began there. hahaha. i don’t even remember what i did! basta lingaw kaaaaayo!! hahaha. i came home with salt all over my body. pisti. and that’s it, happy birthday nalang gyud.
you always leave me thinking twice about you and i’m not completely sure about how i feel about you anymore. oh i want so desperately to fall in love. so in love that i can no longer contain myself and just want to run into your arms like how it is in the movies.
is tihs pms? i shall shower