But that’s just me

Skipped
school cuz I missed the bus and now I’m stuck at home waiting for my mom to
come home so I can go to the gym and it’s taking forever.

I
just finished watching an episode of
Laguna Beach season 3, it’s not as good
as the first 2 seasons, though. The people on the new season just seem so
skanky and trying hard. Lol. And due to
Laguna Beach, we are now headed to the
great depression of Issa Chua…

God,
I wish I was them.


I don’t want to be the girl that hates the world
and everything in it just because of boys or worse, one particular boy.

I don’t wanna be the girl who takes hours at a time
just to pull the perfect look just to get a second look from that one guy who
would’ve never given that to her unless she looked like a complete slut.

I don’t wanna be that girl who has to flirt, bat
her eyes and laugh controllably to his jokes for her to seem interesting.

I don’t wanna be that girl with that one guy on her
mind.

I don’t wanna be that girl who bothers to care
about them.

I don’t wanna be that girl who’s living on
everything that one guy says just to find herself terribly broken in the end.

I don’t wanna be that girl who claims that she’s ok
even when she’s not, the girl who laughs to cover the tears and smiles at the
most when the world’s crumbling down on her. I just wanna be ok.

I don’t wanna be that girl who envies all the other
girls who have fabulous lives because there’s no magic in hers.

I don’t wanna be the girl who’d settle for second
best, I want only the best.

I don’t wanna be the girl who cries herself to
sleep because she’s been completely ruined.

I don’t wanna be the girl who has to look at her
dream guy from a distance because he’s already holding someone else’s hand.

I don’t wanna be that girl who has to pretend she
understands something even though she doesn’t.

I don’t wanna be the girl that no one notices.

I don’t wanna be the girl who’ll never be good
enough or loved enough or just enough.

I don’t wanna be that girl who falls for everything
a guy has to say. I want the truth.

I don’t wanna be the girl who has to put up tons of
make-up to feel accepted, cool and most of all beautiful.

I don’t wanna be the girl who holds back too much,
I’m missing out on too much.

I don’t wanna be the girl who’s full of thoughts
and wishes of things she wished would happen to her on valentines.

I don’t wanna be that girl who’s full of thought of
him and tons of reasons in her of why he should be with me instead.

I don’t wanna be the girl who can never relate to
happy love songs because she knows she’ll never have that.

I don’t wanna be that girl who has to hide her
feelings all the time or the one who shows them too much.

I don’t wanna be that girl who’s too scared to take
a risk and jump because she knows that she’ll get hurt.

I don’t wanna be the girl whose excuse is always
and only “because he didn’t catch me”

I don’t wanna be the girl who’s not worth the jump
or anything at all.

I don’t wanna be that girls who’s volume is cranked
up to a self hate song because my life wasn’t as complicated as this.

I don’t wanna be the girl who wished she had this
and that, I want everything.

I don’t wanna be the girl with too much to say
about getting her heart broken or about not getting what you really wanted. I
wanna know how it is to have it all for a change.

I don’t wanna be the girl who’s scared she’ll be
alone for the rest of her life.

I don’t wanna be the girl who sits downs and sighs
at the sight of cute couples happy in love.

I don’t wanna be the girl who keeps falling out of
it.

I don’t wanna be the girl who’s always the second
option. I want to be the only one.
I don’t wanna be the girl who stares at blank pages of paper everyday and
anticipates filing it in with “I wish he loved me” quotes.

I don’t wanna be the girl who despises valentines
because she knows for a fact that she’s not going to get anything.

I don’t wanna be the girl sitting in the corner
alone for once during that day. I wish someone would sit there beside me.

I don’t wanna be the girl who keeps falling for the
wrong guys.

I don’t wanna be the girl who ends up regretting
letting go or holding on or whatever. I want contentment.

I don’t wanna be the girl who’ll be sitting alone
during prom during slows dances at prom.

And I guess I just  don’t wanna be the kind of girl who takes her
time to write “I don’t want to be’s” and “I wish this could happen to me’s”. I
want love to take its toll on me.

if i didn’t think this got a little TOO tacky, i wouldv’e went on and on.. just so you know.

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