can i STAB you?

i miss him soo much.
i miss the happy girl i was when i talked about him.
i miss the girl who loved the sun
and thought that God sent the rain to help the flowers grow.
i miss his voice and actually being in his arms.
i miss having him on playback  in my head
all day.
i miss his smile and the thought thati could be the reason behind it.
i miss who i was with him.
i miss being in love.
or thinking that i was.

the phone’s ringing again. ever since i got up, that fucked up piece of shit hasn’t shut the fuck up and it’s killing me.

i am very much annoyed by the fact that the calls are never for me, they’re for the maid, and that i have to get up from my chair, in my room, just to pick up the phone for her. i think there are reasons why we have social divisions. i’m being a bitch, i know. but these are my thoughts and let me sulk in them. and ohh, yeah. one thing about the phone calls. they were his thing. and for a few days now… i haven’t seen him around.

school as usual has been nothing but cruel to me. thank God, i had jet to sit around with and talk about RYPIT moments and crush moments with. if it weren’t for him, i know for a fact that i would’ve been sitting in my chair pretending to write meaningful letters for my THE project and getting fat on my chocolate bar and candy that i brought. if i discontinue the want to turn anorexic or bollimic, i think i’l just turn diabetic. i think the thought of injecting myself everyday feels nice to me. HAHA. my god, i’m kidding. lmao.

btw, thank you, jet. thanks for helping me get through this.

i have bad PMS again. i have the need to destroy everything i’m humanly able to. relationships, things, people. hopefully not christmas. i know what can make me better though- it’s just something i can’t have right now.

i hate the wrinkles i’m giving myself


anyways, when I got home last night I got to thinking. Yes, I actually
do this sometimes. I thought about relationships. My past relationships
and hopefully my future relationships. I haven’t actually had an ACTUAL
relationship or anything that I can call
love. Afterall, love is only a feeling. Well
except for that time that I thought i was in love. I think that was
just a mere figment of my imagination. Haha. Something ALWAYS managed
to get in the way of my happiness. Tsk tsk. Why does it always happen?
Boys never fail to break my heart. Or was it the other way around? Haha
I’m kidding. I just want a guy that will call me up at random times
during the day to tell me he misses me. Or randomly surprises me in the
middle of the day because I miss him. A guy that won’t rush into things
and most importantly a guy that won’t play around with my heart. Are
guys like this totally
obsolete from the world? <– layla’s blog

hey lay, i stole this from your blog cuz i love it.

last night, i wrote to santa clause. i told him everything i wanted for next year. who i wanted to become, what kind of person i wanna be with and a certain event in my life that i want to happen. I STILL BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUSE and yes, i’m on the good list this year, as always, thankyouverymuch

i have Chemistry and Computer tests tom. i doubt that i can sleep late again though. lately i’ve been getting those, “WHY ARE YOU SOO THIN AND DEAD LOOKING NOW?! UNSA KA, WAI KATULOG?!” sermons every morning and i’m tired of hearing them. it’s not true. i don’t have problems.i get extremely bored and create them. lmao.

the back of my thighs itch. i think i’ll go scratch them with a blade. lol.

serisously, i’m over that.

issa, the IGUANNA

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