For the longest time, i’ve been able to tell myself that the only things i need are my studies, friends and at the end of the day, a happy family to come home to. and i do commend myself for being able to tel myself and not only that, but also actually believe it but you know sometimes, it just gets a little … lonely.
Like i see my friends fight and cry over really dumb things sometimes and most of the time, i’m like, that’s what you get for getting into a relationship you know won’t last but then tonight, i’m sitting here and wondering what is it with all those things that we still keep coming back for?
i mean, in my case, yeah, i do wanna fall in love. i wanna meet someone that’ll change me without me even knowing it does that make sense? I wanna wake up one day and just tell myself that i wanna do things differently because i wanted to be a better person. but i think it’s kinda dumb that we would change ourselves just for someone else at the same time. Blah, i really have no stand when it comes to a lot of things. Consider this one.
i don’t know, really. It’s just that, i know that i can be a really good girlfriend for someone but somehow all the other girls who don’t treat guys properly or who are major flirts are the ones that get all the guys or are the ones in good relationships [by good, the guy is head over hells in love] and that just doesn’t make sense to me.
It also occurred to me that I don’t attract boys as much as others proli because i’m not as “kept” as they are. Quite honestly, i’m like a 6 year old high on crack most of the time. I think i’m even bi-polar sometimes. There are times when i’m hyper as hell and then i have my bad days when you would have to think twice before even talking to me. I have a disease. I really think i do. I’m not going to comment so much on the looks though because i’m not really pretty but there are other people who have it a little worse than i do and even they have boyfriends. No offense. [no offense taken]
i don’t even know i bother talking about things like this. if it’s for me ,it’ll come. right now i should just focus on my pathetic little life