i know it’s been a while since i’ve updated and i’m aware that i’m not so consistent with my blogs either so sorry about that. But then again, it doesn’t really matter does it?
I just got back from a 4 day trip from Boracay and although the place was amazing, i have to say, i’ve been on better vacations.
I guess it’s more about the people you go on vacation with rather than the place you go to. I just realized this.
The whole time i was there, i was mostly trying to get away from the chua’s and castro’s not because i don’t like them [well, i don’t like my dad, yeah] but mostly because i don’t feel like i belong with them, you know? I didn’t feel my place with those people. And every chance i could get away from them, i would spend smoking. I feel so bad. It got to a point where i just laid on the sand and started asking myself what i was doing with my life. hahaha. it sounds stupid thinking about it now but i was pretty serious when i was having that episode.
every single day i am more and more convinced that i am bi-polar. HAHA.
i’ve been thinking about James lately. i just realized that there hasn’t been a day in 8 months where i haven’t thought about him. he’s always been here. and i still love him. and i miss him. i don’t miss being his girlfriend though. i just miss who i was mostly. I know it’s easy to be that person again though but maybe most of the time i don’t want to. i confuse myself. lol.
We’ve been talking a lot lately though and wa lang. i just wish i could have all those feelings again. except this time for someone who deserves it. haha. why am i even talking about this? /:)
i’ll proli update later and rant about my dad since i haven’t been able to do that yet. HAHA.
but now i have to go and paint my wall. [my papa surprised me by remodelling my room when i got back from Bora] i’ll post pictures. 😀