so i was going through my organizer this morning because i was so bored and it made me remember all the things i’ve been through 4 months and 4 days prior to today. it’s funny how i thought that i had everything i could ever need back then but when i think about it now, i realize that i never really had anything at all. i find it really funny how i tried to get him back and how i thought that if i wasn’t going to be with him, i would be nothing and i could do nothing. i find to sad because i let myself settle for what he had given me which was basically as good as nothing, really. and the fact that i still hoped we’d get back together one day makes me cringe because i never want to be with him or with someone like him ever again.
and then it just made me start wondering when did i ever start getting better? like what day was it and what second. what specific thought and what was it like to feel that heavy burden being lifted off you again. stuff like that. i know i sound crazy but then, it just makes you think like with every relationship you have in general, when you do you know that it’s really over and that you’re really over everything? you know, especially after everything you guys’ve been through..
it’s stupid, really but it makes you think. don’t point fingers at me cuz i’m fine. and happy. happier. happier than i’ve ever been. in ways.
so anyways, i’m starting to really itch from the kwek2x i had this afternoon. i’m telling you, i NEVER learn. i’m allergic to eggs but i can’t stop from kwek2x, it’s like the greatest thing ever invented. but i did happen to say the same thing about lechon this afternoon so i’m pretty much on the fence again with this one. hmmm. i talk weird today. i like 😀
my super senses are on right now. so if you stink, don’t come up to me, i WILL smell you. even the slightest smell of you. and if you touch me, i WILL feel you even before you touch me. and if you’re about to talk to me, don’t. i proli won’t appreciate it. periods suck. i wish i was chabell. 🙁
this saturday’s ina’s party, i wanna bring justin but he really has his mind set on not going cuz he doesn’t really like the people i hang out with. [nostalgic. classic. i hate it.] but it’s not like i’m asking him to go for them, i’m asking him to go for me. i know i sound self absorbed and selfish but i like him and he makes me happy and i want people to know that. i want my friends to see that. i wanna show him off. HAHA. i just wish he’d give it a try cuz i would even if it killed me. but maybe i’m just like that and he’s not. if he does, i’d be really happy but if he didn’t then i guess i’ll just have to deal with it. like i did before. and i swear to god, i hated before. seriously, what’s so wrong with my friends?
i gotta go. i have a wake to go to and wtf do you wear to wakes??