most hated

have you ever been in a room so full of angry people? yes, i’m sure you have. well, have you ever been in a room filled with angry people who’re mad at YOU? i have. not once. many times, in fact [yes, i tend to be a bitch like that] but today, i just got a little reminder about how much that SUCKS.

and the worse feeling in the world is that, there was no one in that entire room to make me feel better or like i could get through. not even my best friend/s. all i felt in that room were people who wanted to know the details of what was happening to get a little entertainment in their lives.

probably karma from being such a mother fucking saddist. geez.

i think i’ve just had the worst 2 days of my high school life – ever. but i guess it’s bearable because i’m in my senior year and i’ll be saying my g’byes to their sorry asses in a few months anyways. but still. not the point. i swear. i don’t think i’ve ever been this mad, pride striken and MAD so far. i mean, i am completely aware that i am being a bitch to almost everyone in my batch but that’s just because i don’t care, really. they make my life complicated, i do the same – times two. [i like to believe i’m capable of doing so.]

and all this over a fucking cheer dance.

now, i don’t know who’s to blame. i don’t care. i said things i probably shouldn’t have said and yumi said some things she shouldn’t have said either. she just probably likes it when people’re are crawling. let’s see if you can do such an awesome job yourself since dancing is YOUR passion.

yeah, like it’s not mine either. fuck.

but you know what? it kinda doesn’t matter because i’m backing out of the whole dancing thing and along with that, i am refusing to have our workers sew their stupid costumes, too. and i’m still trying to find a way to convince my aunt not to do the varsity and batch’s volleyball AND basketball jerseys either. god, help me do this. [although i doubt he will considering the fact that god doesn’t grant such prayers. but i’m still praying for it anyways]

i swear, if i was powerful i’d probably have someone burn down their houses. HAHA.

honestly, i don’t mind that people are mad at me and that they are hating me. hell, i’m annoyed by everyone just the same. i’m just pissed cuz my friends’re taking sides. :[ some friends i have. and because once again, i CANNOT trust ANYONE.

a lot of people’re going around and saying that i’m full of myself. i know i am. it’s my defense mechanism. you treat me like shit, i treat you like i’m better than you. that’s how i live and i’m not sorry for that. whatever. high school sucks. i’m really for it to end.

but anyways, yeah yeah. i’m practically the most hated person in my batch right now and that doesn’t bother me. what bothers me is that , i have to go through all of this alone.

i wish i didn’t have to go to school tomorrow or that we’d be pilled with heaps of shit. i wish for that.

and also that yumi bumps her head and gets a hemorage and DIES.

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