not the issa i know

i’ve heard a hundred millions times that love is all about making sacrifices and if you asked me why i thought i was the most selfish person the world, it would be because i wouldn’t ever sacrifice anything for someone else just because… i don’t see the point in it.

honestly, i don’t know what’s the big deal about making sacrifices. i mean, i know that god died on the cross and sacrificed his life for us but that was him. him and i are two very different people on soo many levels.

but today [no actually, yesterday] i decided that i would make one very big sacrifice and i know exactly why i’m doing it. and i guess i’m doing it cuz i want to, i really want to and not because someone else wants me to. and because i know it would make him worry less and i want that for him, for us.

aside from not going to bagiuo, [wait, about that- idk, it just feels weird that i didn’t bother putting up a fight about it. i guess, i just really wanna make him happy. that’s not such a bad thing, right?i mean, it isn’t. duh!] i’ve decided to not hang out with the guys at school that much anymore.

i know it worries him or if it doesn’t, i know he’s not as into the idea of it as much as i was and honestly, i realzed that i’d rather loose those boys than my boyfriend. just not josh – he’s blood. haha.

but yeah, i guess i’ve been thinking about how i would feel about james hanging out with girls. i mean, i don’t mind, i just idk, no reason, really. i just feel that i could live without hanging out with the boys at school during my free time. this way, i’d be making someone happy and i could concentrate on my grades more. besides, i guess i could try to adjust with the girls. they’re ayt.

so, is this how it is when you sacrifice something? i mean, it doesn’t feel like a big’s not like i’m not shutting them out of my world, though. i guess i’m just going to back away a little bit. that’s not a bad thing, right?

besides, it’ll be worth it. and there’s no pressure in this one.

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