it’s been a while since i’ve been able to blog pointlessly and i miss it. i miss being able to do a lot of things that i’m used to doing and i guess i really just miss having all the time in the world.

i’m scared that one day, this blog is going to be nothing but my “teenage rant page” cuz i’ve practically grown on this site. and i’m scared that i’m just going to grow out of this eventually and i eventually will.:[

whatever. i just have nothing good to say cuz life is at it’s peak of it’s boringness.

my prom dress doesn’t look like how i want it too.
prom practice is tiring.
my munchkin business is doing good.
i’ve been into selling ipod’s lately
and idk.
james and i have been on, off, on, off and that’s just how we’ve been.

i’m over it.

you know how you always want to be happy. no one ever dreams or prays for a crappy day. come on. and you know how you’re always trying to make other people or yourself happy?

well, what if it doesn’t work? what if it doesn’t work anymore?

today, me and james have been together for 9 months. and today has been the worse day of my life, so far. and i’m not sugar coating that. i only have nina and chabel to thank for my sanity.

and i’m aksing myself, is it worth it? iknow it is but god, today just isn’t working for me at all.

i love him, i really do but something’s just not working.

he always leaves and turns his back on me. – am i not worth staying for?

he gets crazy when i’m with my friends – can i never be with him AND my friends at the same time? even if they’re boys…

he insults me – i knew i said i’d leave him if he physically abused me. but god, being sort of verbally abused hurts just as much.

i’m always wrong – or it’s ALWAYS such a big deal when i’m at faul but somehow i can never get as mad as he does when HE’S at fault.

and idk. i don’t wanna list everything.it’s unfair. i have my own set of faults, too.

and i’m not saying that i dpn’t wanna be with him cuz i still do.

right now, i’m just scared that this is the couple we’re going to be.

i just need a little encouragement. because i’m falling apart and wondering if i can still do it.

and i need a little reassuring. cuz it’s gettinng really hard.

and i can feel my heart breaking.

happy 9th. i love you. no matter how hard it gets.

haven’t blogged in ages cuz i haven’t had the time. i’ve been flooded with projects and school stuff and family issues and going out. i have a social life now and a pretty awesome one indeed! lmao.

it’s 5 am. and it’s sinulog. look it up. it’s the biggest thing in cebu! lmao. i’m at bea’s pplace and the partying has just been off the hook fo’ sho!!!

i’m not drunk. i think. i’m blogging the right way, right? i swear, i just look like i am! good night, for real!

mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah,

james, i love you. every single ass shacking piece of you!!!!!!!!!!!