Poor Me

Do you ever feel like your head is always somewhere else??

I always find myself saying over and over again in my head that my dreams are somewhere far far away.

And it sucks.

I never know what I want.


Now, I have no idea why anyone would even do this to me. I don’t have any enemies but I guess it was all luck.

I always thought I had reached the prime of my “career’ the day someone made a fake account of me. But maybe I’m already at it. LOL. jk.

Seriously though, someone thought it would be funny to change my email address from issplease to isa_isa101. Pssh, yeah right. Like i would ever make an email address like THAT. *eye roll*

But really, whoever did that…not cool. You’ve actually cause me sooo much hassle. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO MY SCHOOL WORK NOW, you jerk!

It’s been a while

I haven’t been able to be on as much as i would’ve wanted to and i greatly apologize. Lately i’ve been busy with my tumblr account and it’s been good. but my loyalty will always be wit you, Xanga 🙂


My life has pretty much been a blast not to mention me and paolo will be celebrating our anniversary next month.

I’m a very lucky girl <3

Day 05

A lot of times. I cut, alot.

Most of the time, i only cut to somehow redirect all the overwhelming emotions I feel but yk, there are days when I just feel like “one day, I’m gonna have it in me to dig it a little big deeper and end all of this.”

That doesn’t happen that often anymore. I t used to when Alvin used to be in the picture. But I’ve happily burned that bridge.


Day 3

My views on drugs and alcohol

Wow. Ok.

Let me start with alcohol. I’ve been drinking since I was in the 6th grade. During that time, I would buy a can of cali and drink it with a box of matches to give me a feel of drinking and smoking. All because I’m weird, yes. I grew up surrounded by it and I always remember a can of beer laying around the house somewhere cuz of my dead beat of a father. I don’t think that I was influenced by it though but I discovered it on my own. I never saw my mom drunk and she never encouraged me to do it either. But once I started drinking, she never really had any complaints for as long as I knew my own limitations.

At some point in my life, it did become a big issue though. I was so depressed it would come to a point where I would be drinking by myself or even busting all of my money just to drink. Let me tell you, those were sad times. It became my escape and I look back now and remember all the stupid things I did and I really do wish I thought a lot harder before..

But I’ve never done drugs. I’ve considered it on more than one occasion. I’ve been around people who use it, a lot of people I love are addicted to it. But not me. Maybe never if i’m lucky.

Probably never because I’m a coward.

Day 2

In ten years from now I would want to either be here, in the Philippines or anywhere outside of the Philippines.

But I know that wasn’t a literal question.

I would have to say that it ultimately depends on what I’m doing during that time. And as of today, I’m still unsure of what I want to do or who I want to be. As much as possible, I would want to stay away from the medical field and have a profession in fashion but you know… ten years?

I definitely want to have children by that time for sure.

Forever Young

Today I’ve been faced with the biggest challenge yet. Preparing myself for the real world.

You see, I’ve recently moved back in to our house after “partially” moving in with my grandmother. There, I prepared everything myself and slept alone and I was away from my parents and annoying siblings. I didn’t even last 24 hours there. Right after duty I went straight home and when my mom saw me and asked why I was home I easily said, “because this is my home and I am your daughter. That means, I belong here :D”

Which made me realize how much I’m not ready to move out (if I ever do) and I’m not ready to grow up.

Funny actually because I always thought about leaving. I’m so in over my head.