I’m bored waiting for chabel to finish talking to estong
so I thought I’d summarize this year and well, word vomit. Lol

It’s hard to talk about this year cuz there’s nothing much
to remember. If I had to describe this year in a few words it would go, “this
year has made no sense to me. I honestly do not think it has made me a better
person. Maybe a stronger one. But a better one, I doubt.”

Yeah, this year has screwed me good. And i can’t stop saying it but yes, i’m glad and relieved that this year has ended. it’s about time i stopped screwing up. lol.

i think it’s about time i took responsibilities and stopped letting people down. i think it’s time i payed for my actions and to actually care. i let too many things pass me by last 2006. i kept depending on a tomorrow when i had no assurances that i would always have a tomorrow. i think i just kept getting lucky.

one feeling of accomplishment to me though was being able to handle feelings. the way that i was able to accept rejection, pain and all those stuff. yeah, i broke down every now and then but im not that girl that would stare blanklessly into space and snap back with tears running down my cheek.i think i’ve gotten over that phase in my life. and although it seems unreasonable sometimes, it sure feels good to get away with heartaches.

but this year i don’t want heartaches [ who does ] i want a fairytale. lol.

to sum up al lmy wishes for new year; i guess it would simply be :

just to have a good year

and to make my mom shut up because i honestly cannot stand the sound of her voice.

new year’s eve was very traditional. again. we did the same thing as last year. and the year before that. and the years before that.

the usual dinner and mass here and then fireworks and then me staying up all night blogging or whatever i have to do in order to stay awake. lol. it’s 3:30 btw.

holidays are weird to me, to be completely honest. i think marc agrees.

i don’t want to be bothered, i don’t wanna to bother people unless booze is involved and everytime the clock strikes twelve, i always have a bit of pain in me that causes me to itch inside and want to break down. i am NOT emo!

seriously, as i stood and watched 2006 leave, my insdes were aching. i felt happiness, relief and failure but a bit of accomplishment at the same time. if the word stereotype would be the appropriate word to use right now, then i’d use it to describe myself. but i don’t know what that means exactly so, i’m probably wrong. lol.

my rzor is fucked up. i don’t like it!

so, this is what i’m fond of doing. summarizing my year. lol. and i should probably start now:


i don’t really remember it but chabel’s mentioned it a couple of times so when i think about it, yeah, i rememeber. lol. but honestly, i rememeber what i wore. i know that i wore my pink kamiseta top and my roxy shorts and my bunny ears. i remember going to mango square, seeing eduque [butterflies] and well, walking. lol. i know that i ditched chab and after a few hours she got grounded for getting drunk and well, she was grounded. what’s new chab? lol.


it was my first valentines at mmch and well,i got stuff. 🙂 lol. i rem. that josh was real sweet that day and everything and i rem. exactly how i felt. i wanted that. except.. someone not as gay as josh.

english month. me and al cassey. shrug.


we had the year end concert and mom didn’t go cuz she watched a boxing match with was the reason why i acted like a complete bitch and got beat up.

that was also the night when i went to mia’s birthday party with niña and asked kevin to come with me to drop her home and he ended up stealing his parents car and got caught. but tht was fun. 🙂


hmm..i don’t remember much about april, really. i think this was the start of summer so i was probably into tennis, swimming and guitar around this time since these were the things that kept me busy.


geez louise, the start of my insanity. i completely lost all control during the summer. i went out there, did crazy things yet, i up until now, i don’t know who i blame or if i regret anything. because i still feel like it was the closest thing i had to anything real and he was my beautiful disaster. and yeah, i guess it taught me stuff. stuff that i don’t quite remember anymore. lol. but anyways, like i say, “another heartbreak is another lesson learned”

which is always followed by.. but i’m tired of learning.

i won the novice. 🙂 and milo. once.


well, school started again. not much to remember about school. you know how i feel about that place.

and now, i’m thinking na unfair kaayu ko for hating mmch so much. lol. but whatever, the feeling’s already there. not much to do about that. 😉

july, august, september:

ambot. i think i just let these months pass me by. i know crazy boy stuff happened but, i plan to write it somewhere else.


my pretty sweet 16. and it was pretty sweet, i tell you. lol. i loved the fact that i celebrated with alexa. you don;t know how much i love alexa. lol.


man, this month was crazy for me. i don’t know. i’m out of my system. it’s either i need a boyfriend or i need someone to come fix me.

quack doctor nalang. lmao.



another year, another reason to be trully greatful for having you in my life.

chabel is the biggest blessing in my life, by far. i know we’ve drifted apart but that’s what’s soo great about her. we drift but we always have some form of glue to put it back. whether it’s food, tennis, boys, drama or whatever, i know that i can always count on her when my world comes crumbling down. and this year, it has. soo many times.

i don’t know why i’m putting this here and of all the places but i never had my peace with him.it just.. slipped away and i never ever wnat that to happen with anyone. ever again. i want a notification letter before anything or anyone decides to slip away from me.
i feel soo idiotic when i think about what happened between me and carlow. i mean, give it a little time and he could’ve been my best friend. he was soo fun to talk to, i wasn’t all tense and hung up around him. i told him everything and i didn’t even have to care about anyone. i guess it all just happened at the wrong time and he has issues with the wrong girl. and i messed up.
yes, we were friends. we were close friends. i told him soo many things and i guess, i fell in “like” with our friendship. but i let that go. i hate the thought that for a second i was a boyfriend stealer.
2006 was such a bitch. i lost a great friendship. and i miss it. 🙁

ambotnimo, josh. yoiu used to be that guy that i could run to all the time. the guy i could obsess about power rangers and paperclips to. you used to be my best friend. but i guess i don’t know. we all change, yeah? good luck with your life. you know i’ll always be there for you. you know you can run to me when you can’t run to anyone else.

hai, noi. you make school less traumatizing for me. thank you for eating lunch with me. i don’t know with you but i feel soo blessed to have you in my life. you’re the best.

and everyone else:
you’ve screwed me.

my obsessions:
rubber ducks
monggol pencils [number 2]
text twist

so it’s officially 2007. i’m not ready.  but you know, law of attraction.

i will not slouch
i will not write on myself
i will wear more colors
i will brace each day
i will pray more
and i will control my bitch fits.
or try. that’s the hardest.

you see, being a bitch is in my nature.
blame the mother
and her mother
and her mother’s mother,

and then blame eve.

to my prettiest blessings. i love you.

007 survey

1.Will you be looking for a new job?
– i will try to find another way to make money so, yeah, i guess.

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?
– i don’t know if i wanna put myself in a “serious relationship”
situation or if i like playing around. so, rightnow, i think i’ll take
whatever comes.

3. New house?
– hopefully. i wanna go back to apas.:(

4. What will you do different in 07?
– i will embrace everyday. i won’t let too many things pass me by and i
will take more chances. that means, find the guts to sneak out.

5. New Years resolution?
– not to slouch
not to write on myself
wear more colors
embrace things more
etc. etc.

6. What will you not be doing in 07?
– kissing random boys.

7. Any trips planned?
– moal boal. but knowing my mother, that won’t push through!

8. Wedding plans?
– aunt debbie

9. Major thing on your calendar?

10. What can’t you wait for?
– summer and sinulog and mega parties.

11. What would you like to see happen differently?
– the player falling for the princess and the princess not catching him

12. What about yourself will you be changing?
– a l o t

13. What happened in 06 that you didnt think would ever happen?
– HAHA. a lot!

14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
– uhm .. i have to think about it.

15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 06?
– i hope i gain some fashion sense this year!

16. Will you start or quit smoking?
– i might start. but idon’t see myself as a smoker, really.

17. Will you better your relationship with your family?
– no. i don’t know. i just want my mm to shut up

18. Will you do charity work?
– YES!

19. Will you go to bars?
– yeah. i want to. i soo want to!

20. Will you be nice to people you dont know?
– not that i’m ever mean to them but ok…

21. Do you expect 07 to be a good year for you?
– i hope it will. i just want a good, fun year

22. How much did you change from this time last year til now?
– i changed.

23. Do you plan on having a child?
– hell no.

24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with?
– not all.

25. Major lifestyle changes?
– maybe. i wanna be a party girl. lol

26. Will you be moving?
– hope so

27. What will you make sure doesn’t happen 07?
– giving away confetti

28. What are your New Years Eve plans?
– it’s new year naman gani and im answering this. geez

29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?
– that happens?!

30. One wish for 07?
– that i would just have a good year. last year screwed me badd.

forum queen

well, if you must know what i’ve been doing well, then i guess i’ll have to say it with pride.

world, for the past 2-3 days i have been on and off the internet to do nothing but forum, forum and forum. i don’t know. for some reason this feels weird to me. foruming is soo 6th garde for me. lmao.

my forum haven? http://www.hamster-heaven.com

yeah. ok, i know. i’m obsessed with my hamsters. but sadly, people in the forums seem to think i have amateur hamster handling skills. geez, louise. whateve.

i need money to buy these bitches the shit they need. lol. yoiu know love them. haha

new cage, food, bedding, water bottle, bigger wheel


i’m supposed to be out but by a very likely twist of fate. i’m not.

big blessings for the week:
tita tina’s place today
rzor 🙂


So, it’s after Christmas and things’re pretty much
back to normal. Tito Louie was here for a day to visit but now he’s on his way to manila. papa’s out with him. i  got more gifts. hehe. what can i say.. i’m a gift hog. lol

yesterday i spent my afternoon at ayala with friends. the usual loves of my life. lol.

i bought francis a thankyouforbringingmetoyourprom gift and i would’ve gotten myself a top if i found one but after xmas days don’t seem very shoppy. lol.

christmas was very robotic and scripted. the usual, sun valley dinner, xmas mass at the chapel with the girls, maria luisa, noche buena, pictures, gift openning and home [wherever home was] to open gifts. lol.

last year, you could tell my relatives wanted me to “girl up” but this year they went pretty lax on me. i must be turning into the little grown up girl they wanted. which is why they got me big jackets and big bags. HAHA. pamilya.

this christmas wasn’t very special to me. lol. i don’t know. new year gas to be rockin.

whatever. my lolo’s 58 now. yey.

The loves of my Life <3

CHABEL – the camel
ISSA – the iguanna
niña – the piña

let’s settle this once and for all

ok. i’ve been acting like a complete bitch who doesn’t want to talk to anyone. i’ve been dodging text messages and not answering my calls just because well, i’m just not in the mood too. i can do that, right? lol.

honestly, i cannot deny the happiness he brings me. because, yeah he does make me happy and everyone knows it.

but sometimes, it gets too serious and i can’t help but wish that it would all just… stop

it’s not that i don’t like him anymore but you know, it just seems a little too serious for my type. constantly texting, talking on the phone, talking about stuff for real. and i don’t do talk, i just let it happen and not care. and sometimes, i unno, i just don’t want it. like, it’s too much pressure.

honestly, i can’t help but think that we’re as cut out for each other as i think we should be. i’m tired of texting of talking on the phone lang and i have a feeling that it won’t be as fun in real actual life.

i don’t know. it’s xmas eve and i shouldn’t be feeling this way but despite the given time and date i can’t help but wish it all to end.

i’m soo evil right now

but i don’t think i can do this anymore.

i don’t i can do it.

i don’t wanna hurt anybody.

he’s the last guy i want to hurt. but honestly, i don’t think i can make him happy. i think all i’ll do is hurt him and hurt him. because quite frankly, i’m not the girl he thinks i am. sure, he gives me all these weird feelings but, i just have too many things going on in my life right now that i don’t know what i want or who i want or if i want to do this. i wish i could wish it all away. but i think i have to end it before i do something completely stupid. and i know for sure that i will. or already have. because that’s what i do. i do stupid things.

i’m sorry

mother meets promenade king

yes, yesterday, mother and the whole shebang [papa, lolo, lola, tita tina and tito mike] met francis and boy, was that fun. lol

papa was actually dumbstruck for the first time in the 10 wonderful years that he’s been in my life. lol. he wasn’t able to talk to him and said that he was saving his questions for prom night. but you could tell by the way he was fiddling with things that yes, i got my papa’s heart beating crazy at the thought that i’m getting all grown up now. sob.

the talk was interesting and my god.. fast! mom just asked him when and what time i’d be home and where’d we go after prom.

now the woman can’t shuttup about the guy. she’s practically inlove with him. lol. i have no say on the matter.

sos, mama. lol. she says na he’s the kinda guy she wants me to be with, attractive, nice, well rounded and descent. lol. nya feel pud kaayu nimo, franc? HAHA.

apparently, they wanna see him around more.

so anyways, after they talked, he gave me his xmas gift. hand saniter. hehe. sipat. he always had a thing about me writing on my hands. lol. i’m an artist. kill me. haha. bitaw, i loved it. 🙂

soo.. after he left, the grown ups started talking about their high school romances. haha. that was funny. i just wasn’t paying enough attention to write it in details. lol

so now, i’ve gone all lazy on marc. i’m soo sorry but i do this to people. i’m like that. i put people through misery and pretend it’s my job to. im just like that.

i should warn you that i change my mind very quickly witout even thinking. i get restless and pulan-non and when i do, i tend to let go of certain things no matter how much they mean to me.

i’m just like that. and i wnat you to know to know this in case this happens. and i have a feeling that maybe it will. 😐

next blog please..

i swear to god i’ve been nothing but nice

it’s the 23..i think and i’ve been home all day. well, except for angie’s house where i almost got eaten alive by her tiny dog. lol.

yesterday was the christmas party where i got to wear my pretty black dress that i lurved soo much. lol.

the party was ayt. i thought teacher jojo got me but teacher paski got me. lol. and i even have the nerve to shout, “i knew a teacher got me” in fronna anne and sam which was pretty stupid cuz i thought teacher jo did. lol. but i had a feeling it was a teacher anyways so i was pretty damn close!! lol.

my whole day was spent at ayala and just that. i got to talk to marc the whole night which was fun. slept at around 12 and yeah, that’s that.

today ; tomorrow until maybe next week

today was the last day of tests. yey for that. lol. we had filipino and english which was synch. i just hope my grades make me feel like it was. lol.

i have a new love. and no, it’s not a boy nor a school supply! it’s a book. yey. i have a new hobby. lol. it’s the diary of a crush. lol. so, in some way, a little bit of something is still involved. but it fancies the hell outta me and i’ve learned some new kick ass words like arse, kiss slut and the word fancy now fancies me and whatelse? argh. i want a vintage dress now. lol.

anyways, christmas break is almost on it’s way! all i have to go through next is our xmas party and then i’m free. i think i’ll be totally bumped out tomorrow because i have pratically been snobbed by my bandmates who might be playing tomorrow. i don’t know. i could care less right now. if i’m not wanted then i won’t beg on my knees to be wanted. but honestly… i kinda wish they’d want me. oh well, i wont need to put up with this for long. i’m almost off the hook.

the only thing that excites me about tomorrow is that i get to wear my pretty new dress that mommy bought me from bayo. i’ve been rambling on about how pretty it is and how pretty i could look in it to vince and marc. you know i know that you love me. lol.

i spent the whole day at ayala and i’ve been out for 3 days yet until now, i haven’t finished xmas shopping yet and i’m broke. who knew boys clothes costed millions. milions that i don’t have 🙁 haha.

well anyways, ima go now. i only asked for 5 minutes from people so, scram.