I heard from the grapevine that Xanga, which is my original blogging platform, will be shutting down in a few months. But then again, this comes with an exemption. If they can raise a few hundred thousands then all our teenage angst filled posts will be saved.

I’ve had www.xanga.com/aa_bebe_phat_aa for 10 years already and I’m desperate to save it. It is my entire childhood and I’m a bit sentimental like that.

So this is me saving one of the most important things in my life. My blog.

And then I’ll probably continue word vomiting here.

You have all been forewarned.

Should I Be Scared?

I love you so much that it is honestly very scary.

I love you that sometimes I look at you and I feel like I could love you for the rest of my life.

Like I could watch you grow old, bald, with a pot belly and it would be the most beautiful sight in the world. You know, to have seen you age so graciously.

I love you in a way that I’d want to cook breakfast for you and make sure your clothes are ready in the morning and your shoes are shined. I love you in a way that I would want to make your day happy and when it’s not, I’d like to be the person to change that.

I love you that it’s really scary. Scary because I didn’t really know that you could have these feelings. Because I’ve never had these feelings.

I love you in a way that I pray that God fixes me. I pray that I can fix myself. I pray that I can be that person for you. That I can be someone strong enough for you. Someone smart enough. Someone responsible enough. Someone who is enough. Someone you can look at and be proud of. Someone you can smile about.

I love you.I love you in a what the hell happened to me kind of way. I love you in a- that is so completely not me kind of way.

I love you so much that I just made the crappiest love letter ever. And there is nowhere to insert my poor humor.

That’s what you do to me.

On This Boat

I guess we all have our own set of struggles.

I’m battling thoughts of spending money on an origami skirt and an off shoulder shirt thingy which will totally give me that girly vibe I’ve been dying to achieve. While at the same time, I am also trying to figure out what is more important to me- food or clothes.

My friend is up at almost 1:00 pm rattling her brain over her boyfriend while another friend isn’t quite sure about what she wants anymore.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the world, there is probably someone who has it much much worse than we do.

Somewhere, someone is most likely dying.

I think I’m going to savor worrying and being sad about not being able to afford a skort I could totally afford if I didn’t eat for a day. Who knows, maybe tomorrow I’ll be worried about something much much worse.

But for now, I want that origami skort, that top, those shoes and high waste printed shorts.

For now.


Let’s Be Honest

There’s something about honesty that can be quite liberating.

Especially when you are being honest with yourself.

Maybe the reason why people are so scared of being honest is because secrets are a reminder that we actually have something to lose. It makes us vulnerable, humble and maybe, just maybe, these are things that remind us that we are alive.

Maybe we hold on, as selfish as it may seem, because we don’t want to let go of the things that oftentimes, aren’t supposed to be ours anymore.

Then again, maybe sometimes we hide skeletons in our closets because that’s where they are meant to be.

I guess everyone has their reasons and every secret kept tucked behind has been placed their for a reason. Reasons we may never really know and well, maybe that’s just not my problem anymore.

I don’t know where I’m heading with this blog post because right now I feel naked.

I feel happy and hurt at the same time but it’s not necessarily a bad thing, you know?

I feel liberated. And maybe that’s a good thing.


I Stumble On Innocence Sometimes; But There’s Justice While I Wink AtCrimes

And here am I, ruining a Samuel Butler quote.
[In case you don’t know who he is, he made translated the Illiad and the Odyssey. Thanks, Wikipedia!]

[Gold cardigan: Thirfted| Silk top: Thrifted| Pants: IT Park Christmas Bazaar find| Gold Flats: Old Navy]
Another attempt at dressing like a lady in the office.
As you all know, I’m not particularly lady-like. I have lunch every day with a group of 4 guys namely: Chad, Yong, Jake & Kenny who I will surely miss.
I’m also a cheapskate, I spend less than P50.00 on lunch (on a good day) but it’ll take more than an eight-peso fare to get me to commute.
In a sentence, I just proved that I am indeed very much in touch with my Chinese blood and ironic at the same time.
In my defense, I fall asleep in EVERY JEEP I get on. So I’m just being safe.
Aside from this, a close friend of mine, The Third, shoots almost all my outfit shots for me and we spend a good hour a day smoking our lungs out and having endless conversations.
Then there’s Jedd who I ought to dedicate an entire post to. Soon, Obiwan.
Forgive me for the senti work rant. As mentioned, I am indeed leaving work and these are the people I’m going to miss every day.
Going back to my outfit post and these countless attempts to suppress the inner boy in me, I found that the secret is in floral pants. [That I’m not supposed to wear at work, btw]
They scream of girly-ness and all I have to do is put on a shirt (if I wore pink, I would be pushing it), a cute cardigan and I’m good to go!
I’m pretty sure this would’ve looked good with some chains here and there but I have a work ID so it gets in the way.
Aizilym Ent.
Watch: Fossil| Bracelet: Gift from Ann
Am I a lady yet?

I Come In Peace

See the resemblance?
It’s uncanny!

[Top: Oxygen| Cosmic leggings: Fashion Diary| Boots: KICKS (SM Department Store)| Spiked headband: Penshoppe]
Dog: Meow
A quick tip to wearing leggings:
No, no to the camel toe!
I fell in love with these leggings, along with all of Fashion Diaries items, the minute I laid eyes on them. Once, I did, I felt like no matter what happens in this world, I HAD to have them- ho hum… AND I FINALLY DO! 😀
My tip for wearing loudly printed legging is to just keep everything else to a minimum. Too much is not always a good thing, keep that in mind, friends!
That’s why I opted to wear a simple black sleeveless top with a sheer back (you can’t really tell its sheer though. Boo) and my favorite boots to bring out that final umpf!
I think the real challenge is being able to wear this look again but I’m looking forward to playing around with a big sweater and some strappy black heels. Oh, to be a woman! J
What do you think of my cosmic leggings?

Long Live Vintage

Long live vintage purse: Fossil

Coat: Loalde| Silk top: Thrifted| High waist pencil skirt: Maze Hip Zone| Flats: SM Department store]
For the record, I know I’ve over killed these black flats of mine but I swear I’m about to retire these babies. Any suggestions for my soon-to-be-favorite black flats?
I’ve never been over the top when it comes to dressing. I like keeping things simple and my cabinets are overflowing with basic pieces- lots of black, white and jersey. K
So how do I spice up a supposedly dull outfit? With stand out pieces like this brightly colored orange coat!
I really do think it makes a big impact while keeping the whole look chic and classy at the same time. What do you think?
If you’ve noticed I’m not a big fan of chunky jewelry or accessories, for that matter. Necklaces makes me feel suffocated, my face does not look well with dangling earrings, most bracelets don’t fit me and Paolo won’t let me get a tattoo. But one of my staple accessories that I’ve been in love with for the longest time is my iPod watch strap from iWatchz (from Paolo).
I think it’s the perfect mixture of class and style and it matches my style really well plus, it’s my music, time, pictures and PAPA JOE all in one! J [yes, I’m a die-hard Papa Joe fan. NO SHAME!]
What are your staple accessories?