ugh. i’m sick. can you believe that? i never get sick anymore!!

well, i’m not the type to complain especially when it comes to buying a couple of days out of school but what sucks is that, my parents think i have UTI [cuz i said i had back pains] and worst of all, my mom thinks i have it cuz i’m SEXUALLY ACTIVE. hahaha. oh, god. how miserbale would she be when she found out i was as clean as a spoon. lmao.

seriously, i hate the fact that everyone thinks that being in a serious relationship means actually having sex. i’ve been with james for 10 long months now and i’ve never done it with him and quite honestly, i don’t plan to. not until marriage. and i do plan to marry the ass… someday.

i hate this weekend. i want to die.

i’m loosing you and it’s effortless.

prom sucked. but the after party was amazing. i love every single bit of james no matter how complicated we may be. i think the whole drama with prom and the teachers felt like nothing to me cuza him.. yey.

Somehow, I need to make you
understand how everything we say and do is connected to everything in general.
When I say you make me feel like you are being unappreciative, i mean it
because when we fight over dumb things, it makes me feel like it in general.

            I
try to make you happy by doing things for you in the same way you do. And when
I’m happy, it’ll take a lot from you to make me mad again because I don’t want
to ruin the good times, because I trust you cuz I know you love me and you
don’t want to hurt me.

            But
somehow, I always seem to get extremely hurt when I try to do my best to make
you happy and something simple like a “do you wanna talk later” is all it takes
to make you mad. It’s like, everything I do is for nothing. I try to make you
happy for so many reasons. So you’ll know how much you mean to me, so you won’t
get that mad easily, so you’ll earn my trust.

            But
somehow, I am always never enough because after a few days, we’re back to right
where we started. Fighting and wanting to kill each other… again.

            And
i tried to make you understand this before but you didn’t get it.

            You
always say na gi labot nako ang walai apil but that’s not it.

            And  I don’t know how to make you understand this.

            I’m
running out of ideas.

i’m wasting time right now and taking advantage of this glorious moment to blog.. because i can. lmao.

i’m at jy square waiting for my mom and my aunt to come so we can get my prom dress fitted. i’ve got my fingers crossed that my dress looks exactly how i’ve dreamed it to be. i’m so bored right now. it’s unexplainable. lmao.

but i did happen to have a pretty good morning, fun and spontaneous- just how i like my days.

nina woke me up pretty early and she begged that i’d go to cdu with her while she took her exam and i, with no doubt, said yes. i got to suprised james and hang out with my best friend. that was fun.

so far i’ve had:
fries
a shake
shawarma
quesadillas
fried ice cream [yes, fried]
and an ice smoothie.

i’m feeling drowsy. proli cuz i’m full.

i’ll be going back to SM in a bit and then me and james’ll buy my prom stuff and watch tuesdays with morrie, on account it’s my project.

i have a dinner party for layla’s 18th and a crazy, happenin’ all girls debut to go to, too.

this is the life. <3

james. please reply, you maniac!!