And there you are

Got a transvaginal ultrasound yesterday at Maayo Medical- it’s pretty interesting how I didn’t grasp myself for what was to happen- me finally getting to see our baby for the very first time. I was so distraught over not having anything to wear and how much I wanted french fries that I completely forgot how excited I was that I was finally going to see you.

When the doctor said, “here’s your baby”, I honestly didn’t know how to react. I wanted to cry but Paolo wasn’t there since the COVID restrictions imply that I can only go in alone for my check ups so I just said “hiiii” while I tried to keep it together.

You came from my right ovary and I didn’t know the significance of what that meant but with a little more research, I’ve discovered that there are higher chances of you being a boy.

That bit didn’t really matter to me. Whatever you are or whatever you will be, I will love you and protect you with all my heart.

Paolo was so happy when he found out. His eyes lit up like I had never seen before and it made me so happy to see him like that. He’s not the theatrics type like the ones you see in movies that cry or jump in joy but he talks and asks questions and he studies about it and it’s in those small things I see the big things.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamed of this, of you, of us.

You’re just a sac right now but I’m gonna love you as a sac until you’re 100000 years old.

xx,
mama