Dull and Candy Coated

I am my worst enemy because nobody destroys me quite like myself.

I like to over think and overwhelm myself in the process and I’ll admit- the future scares me.

I have so many dreams and aspirations and somehow the thought of them just staying like that freaks me out more.

I am scared that I want too much that a lifetime would never be able to manage them all.

But these fears are irrational and petty because I know that I make my own bliss.

But the night times scare me because these are the times where the world is quiet and my thoughts are loud.

So yeah, allow me to be scared because it makes me appreciate my bravery more.

Because I know I am capable of being just that.

I’m just hazy in the head.

I get sleepy too.




Random conversation with an old friend:

him: hi iss

me: hey ****

him: musta?
me:okie lang

him: bad day nako!
buwag nami ni ***** last year pa. just ganina kita ko niya with some other guy ouch! sad ako na feel hehehe pero atleast ok nako karon

oh nooooo
buwag na gyud for real??

him: yeah

me: sorry to hear that
why man nag buwag mo?

him: napul.an na sige ug away
ok ra oi

me: pila gani mo ka years together?

him: 5years

me: geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

him: sayang sa?
but dile man na mu matter oi

me: years doesn’t matter

him: yeah
how did you do it man iss?
to forget paolo and to be with another guy? sorry to bother hehehe im so broke naman gud kaayo hehehe

me: haha it’s ok ra oi
well, it was different for me because I wanted to leave paolo for a very long time na most of the time na uyab mi kay pugos naman lang ko

him: ahw same raman ta siguro ug situation i wanted to leave her man pud but kabaw naka di lagi saun2 kay grabe sad ug moments together. hahaiz

me: yeah but kibaw ka think of it this way, you can make moments with other people
although sometimes I still think about Paolo C. I have Paolo now [yeah, same name] and he makes me happier.
if i never left Paolo would I ever know this happiness? I doubt
same goes for you

If I stop thinking, maybe I’ll be smarter

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