for old times sake

i haven’t cut myself in 2 years. one because, god, it’s gay. two, i’m waaay more mature than i used to be and i can now handle my own problems without the use of any sharp object. 3 because i promised my mother i wouldn’t that day she almost brought me to a shrink. 4 because i’ve been to church camp and i now “believe” that my body is a holy vessel that i should take care of and blah blah blah.

fuck what i just said.

i have the word LIAR on my arm. i hope you sleep well tonight.

i don’t know why i can’t just stand up and walk away from him. i’m bleeding already. i feel emo [shrug]. and i’m at my worse. who’s going to save me? not him. not you tonight, james. i’m going to take a step back and build my own invisible wall because god, you hurt me. so if it’s not going to be him, it’s not going to be anyone.

i’m going to make friends with my 20.00 peso cutter. it’s yellow and black. i always thought those two colors went well together. and scabs look cool on my skin. i will be sporting scabs for a while.

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ambot na, james. seriously.

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