i seriously can’t help it

today’s been a lousy day for me. i’ve been tired, happy, upset and just about everything you can think of but mostly grumpy and upset.

i guess i know the reason why and im honestly sorry for feeling the way i do but i can’t help it.

i know that for the next 2 weeks everyone’s going to be talking about bagiuo. that includes the people who aren’t going and ESPECIALLY the one’s who’ll be going. yes, today is bagiuo week. and i know i didn’t want to go … but i can’t deny the fact that i’m soo – disturbed about the whole thing.

idk what’s gotten into me but yeah, i could’ve been packing right now. 8 days with no mom, no papa, no annoying siblings would’ve seemed really perfect. but then again, if i was going, i’d be reallys ad about leaving james and yeah. don’t get me wrong, it’s not like he put me up to not going because it was all me. mommy asked if i couldn’t go and i didn’t put a fight cuz i guess i didn’t want to but still. yeah. i guess i’m just used to getting what i want. especially something i really really want.

fuck. yes,  i’m  pissed cuz i’m not going and i’m jealous because god, i really really realy wish that i was.

i’m going to rebel. i need to make myself feel better.

this sucks and i just feel really mad right now.