if you’ve already said it once…

in my case, you haven’t said it enough.

yk, sometimes i get so confused with this whole boyfriend girlfriend thing even if i’ve been doing it for almost a year already. i mean, it’s so hard to be able to do things that you used to do when you weren’t in one that aren’t even bad esp. when you’re boyfriend thinks it a complete violation of your trust agreements or whatever it is you two have agreed on.

sometimes i think it’s too much to handle but i know that i’m just not the giving up type.

it’s 10 days before james’s birthday and i’m just so stressed out right now. ugh. i haven’t gotten him a gift or anything pa and i don’t even have that much money to buy him a gift. ugh. plus it’ll be our anniversary this month, too AND my papa’s birthday. oh, i’m so dead.

i don’t want to think about what happened today because it’ll just bring me down more. i could say i don’t care because honestly, i really don’t. what happened happened and it was just crystal clear proof that i will never be enough for him. even if that’s the only thing i really want. to be ENOUGH.

whatever. i’m a screw up. that’s just who i am. one big major disappointment.