i’m very bad at living

if god was grading the way i lived, i bet i’d very easily FAIL simply because, OMG, I suck at life and i doubt i’m ever going to get better at it. I need an instruction manual. i need insructions on a box.

and i also think i’ve failed every girl code in the world. i feel like a 13 year old. ignorant. very ignorant. why now, G? why NOW!?

i must remember that every time i run into someone i like, i should NEVER EVER stop in my tracks and turn away running or in my case, speed walking. especially if that person was starring at me with my jaw hanging on the floor. and then stalk him endlessly and waste P120.00 just to be in the same dark room with him and not even have him know it. i am such a loser with a 13 year olds problem. i feel soo bad. it’s like, i forgot what i was supposed to do. cuz honestly, when i saw him, i didn’t want to pretend that i didn’t see him, i didn’t want to walk by with my head up laughing pretending not to see him but making sure that HE saw me. i just froze for a second and ran away in the opposite direction. i didn’t want him to see me but i really wanted to be with him.

i can’t stop replaying it in my mind right now. i feel soo dumb. the dumbest.

and again, i was singled out.

did i feel bad? yes, very. but i don’t know. i’ll have to deal.

i predict bad karma for 7 years even if i didn’t break a mirror.

btw, i’m planning to consult feng shui, maybe everyhing in my room is not in it’s proper place maybe i’m putting impurites in the north; relationship part of my room. [yeah, i’m reading dates, mates and cosmic kisses]

I’M DYING

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