Oh it’s times like this when I’m home on a Friday night smoking my cigarettes with the company of my soul that I miss you.

I miss you like a stone that has tumbled to and fro against the currents and has become stripped, simplified and nothing without you.

I miss knowing that you would always be around for me when I needed you and I miss the company that we shared even if it meant fighting and shouting at the top of my lungs.

I miss how it felt when you would hug me and tell me that I was beautiful- if I wasn’t to the world, at least I knew is was yours.

God how I miss you.

And I don’t know what to do because getting back isn’t an option anymore, it can never be. Not after everything that happened. But how I wish it didn’t get to this. How I wish I wasn’t lonely. How I wish I still had you even if it meant being mad at you.

How I wish things were different.

How I wish and wish but never do anything about it.

How stupid of me.