I don’t understand this season’s obsession with crotches and long arm holes- I FUCKING HATE IT! And yet I was dumb enough to try the trend out anyways. I really am a schmuck. But curiosity got the best of me and I succumbed to the trend for the heck of it. So ladies and gents, if you’ve never seen it (in which you haven’t), here is my crotch in all it’s glory. I don’t know why anyone would possibly want to see it but I’m showing it to you anyways! 🤮
So my family and I took a trip to Costabella and then Cebu Yacht club for dinner which was when I decided to take my scandalous one piece suit out. Now, I don’t know if it’s a body issue thing or a personal space issue, but wearing this particular piece made me feel more naked than actually being naked so it’s a no go for me.
Here are some reasons why I disliked- hated this piece:
1. It showed off my nipples – there was sufficient amount of blurring of certain areas because this suit came with no paddings. Don’t get me wrong, the fabric was a beautiful corduroy-esque stretchy material but god, if I wanted people to see my nipples, I would never have bothered to invest in padded bras.
2. It covered very little of my frontal area – well obviously, as it is a crotchless bathing suit, but that’s the risk I took when I bought the damn thing.
3. It covered very little of my back area – “Do you want to see the moon? Well, you’re gonna!”
4. You need to get a wax before wearing this piece.
I can easily see how this piece could be an empowering article of clothing that every woman could need in their life and I’m all about that… just not on me. Maybe I’m a little old fashioned and I like keeping whatever ought to be hidden, hidden and well, if I wanted to be naked, I should have just done it right away.
So why did I buy this suit anyways if I knew I was gonna hate it? Because you can’t fully wear a suit at the dressing room of Forever 21 and I REALLY wanted to know what I looked like in it.
Forever the fashion victim,