THIS is how you make my heart stop beating

daaady Chua: hi sush
issadog_102890: hey sush
issadog_102890: haha
issadog_102890: hey dad
issadog_102890: what’s up?
daaady Chua: sush, i got my greencard na
daaady Chua: the actual greencard na gyud
issadog_102890: really? wow!
issadog_102890: so, when’re you coming home?
daaady Chua: i’ve been wanting sometime this year
daaady Chua: just saving up some money
issadog_102890: so, will yoiu be coming home with leah and the kids too??
issadog_102890: or just you/
daaady Chua: with everyone
daaady Chua: but when business grows at a stable level, ill be coming back and forth more often especially with doing business there
issadog_102890: really?
issadog_102890: mas nindot diay
daaady Chua: hopefully like 5 times a year or more.
daaady Chua: so we get to spend time more often na sush
issadog_102890: hehe
issadog_102890: that sounds really nice
issadog_102890: i can’t wait
daaady Chua: me too 

**awkward silnce**

i feel like i had to say that i was excited and that i couldn’t wait to see him not cuz i was but cuz i didn’t wanna tell him the truth that i’m feeling nothing but scared. 11 long years is hard to make up for and right now, i just don’t know what i’m going to do anymore. like, when he comes, what’ll we do? what’ll we talk about. it’s just very terrifying and how will papa act? i feel like i’m complicating my family’s life right now. i don’t wanna be in this situation. i don’t want my papa to feel inferior or like i’ll replace him because i can’t but i do wanna spend time with my dad. i’m just…. OMG. i’m soo lost right now.

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