I Am Not The Girl You Marry

I kind of hate myself for that emotional warfare I put myself, and everybody else, through for an entire year. I am utterly disgusted at the thought of how much I wanted to get married last year, with what?! with who?! Ugh, I am so sorry for that, internet and real life friends.

That ship has already sailed and thank God it did! I think for a while I forgot that I was still 23 years old and that I had so much time to figure out what I wanted and who I wanted to be- and that in the real world, people don’t get married right after college anymore!

Maybe for a while I forgot that I had so many dreams in life and that this was the only time I had to fulfill them. Maybe I fell in so much love that I forgot to love the things I used to love just as much. There are a million maybe’s to these babies but at least I can live my life without the fear of “not getting a proposal today”. This is all very real, my semi psychotic friends.

Yes, I still wanna get married at 25. Maybe get a proposal at 25, get hitched at 26, decide to have babies a couple of years later. I want the whole shebang! But who cares want I want in the future, I can hardly have the things I want now. So I might as well work on these things now.

Besides, I’m not the type of girl you marry.