Questions To God

When I meet God I’m not going to ask him questions like, “why do you allow suffering on earth?”.

I want to ask him things like:

  • What’s your favorite pizza?
  • Who makes the best burger in the world?
  • Why did you make me short, angst-y and extremely moody?
  • Where did Amelia Earheart go? (But I’m sure everyone has asked that)
  • How can world domination be achieved? And after he tells me, I’ll then ask him very nicely to reincarnate me so I can do so…
  • Why am I always the hungriest when there is no food for me to eat? Like now. I’M SO FREAKIN’ HUNGRY I’M GOING TO DIE.
  • What’s at the bottom of the ocean?
  • Why do the Kardashian’s exist?
  • Why people can’t mind their own goddamn business? And why do they suddenly feel such a sense of entitlement over things that do not involve them? Did I ask for your opinion? I think not.
  • Actually, the last bit isn’t much of a question as it is a passive blow to whoever is reading this… you judgement scum, you.
  • Why is steak expensive and why am I dreaming of consuming a medium rare steak from SnR that I haven’t had in almost a year?
  • Nganu pirmi man ko gutom?
  • What exactly does the tooth fairy do with all those teeth?

And one of life’s greatest mysteries…

  • Where do those lost socks go?
  • Is there a special place in heaven for lost socks, hair pins, earring locks, ballpen covers and the like?

Ok,  good night. Maybe.

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