When I meet God I’m not going to ask him questions like, “why do you allow suffering on earth?”.

I want to ask him things like:

• What’s your favorite pizza?
• Who makes the best burger in the world?
• Why did you make me short, angst-y and extremely moody?
• Where did Amelia Earheart go? (But I’m sure everyone has asked that)
• How can world domination be achieved? And after he tells me, I’ll then ask him very nicely to reincarnate me so I can do so…
• Why am I always the hungriest when there is no food for me to eat? Like now. I’M SO FREAKIN’ HUNGRY I’M GOING TO DIE.
• What’s at the bottom of the ocean?
• Why do the Kardashian’s exist?
• Why people can’t mind their own goddamn business? And why do they suddenly feel such a sense of entitlement over things that do not involve them? Did I ask for your opinion? I think not.
• Actually, the last bit isn’t much of a question as it is a passive blow to whoever is reading this… you judgement scum, you.
• Why is steak expensive and why am I dreaming of consuming a medium rare steak from SnR that I haven’t had in almost a year?
• Nganu pirmi man ko gutom?
• What exactly does the tooth fairy do with all those teeth?

And one of life’s greatest mysteries…

• Where do those lost socks go?
• Is there a special place in heaven for lost socks, hair pins, earring locks, ballpen covers and the like?

Ok,  good night. Maybe.